Life on the Fence

I feel like I am living on top of a fence. A wide and tall and deep fence... please bear with the analogy...

On one side: the world full of sinfulness and lost people being blinded by the devil. On the other side: an eternity of righteousness, truth, love and goodness. We start off in the world because of Adam and Eve. We are born sinners. Through God's gracious gift of Jesus, we have the choice to climb out of that world and eventually enter into heaven. We are stuck 'in' the world but it is not our home (i.e., not 'of' the world). It's like we get to climb out and away from the mire onto the fence of salvation. Yet, we have been commanded to preach the Gospel, to be salt and light, and to help as many people as we can to climb up out of the world and on to that fence of salvation. So we can't get too far away from the world or we'll be no good at helping people out of it. We also can't get too close to the world, or we might get duped into dangling our feet in their muddy waters.

In his preface to The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis wrote:

There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race falls about devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors, and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight.

I used to care what the world thought, I was a materialist, as C.S. Lewis put it. Yet, I also cared what the Lord thought and what the other people onthe fence thought (i.e., other believers).

I once befriended a person, out of natural circumstance, thinking that she wouldn't drag me into the world but that I would lead her up onto the fence. As you can imagine. It was much easier for her to have me teetering towards the world side than it was for me to pull her up there. In the end, I stayed on the fence and she walked away, further into the world. During that time of teetering, I started to stink more like the pride and selfishness of the world. My priorities were skewed by the world's priorities. As I said, I didn't fall off the fence (i.e., I didn't lose my salvation or sight of God) but I took on some of the world's qualities.  I tried to play the game of being friends with the world and with Jesus, I tried to serve two masters. This does not work, as the Bible clearly states. (James 4:4, Matt. 6:24). 

Jesus paid a high price for me to sit up on that fence, and for me to one day cross to the other side of the fence into the perfect eternity of heaven. He wasn't going to let me fall in without a fight. He didn't give up on me and I am now safely attached to the fence. I have learned my lesson about being friends with the world. I understand this verse more now than I ever could before.

"If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for Me, you will find it." -Jesus    Matt. 10:39

So here I sit on the fence, no longer trying to keep both sides happy. I surrender my measly life plan for the greater picture of God's plan.  When some worldly desire dances across my mind, I dismiss it because I know that what God has for us is far better than what the world can offer. Will I ever shop in Paris? Walk the streets of England? Maybe not, but I'll reassure myself that the clothes of heaven and streets of gold will be better than all the material goods in this world. I know that the promises of God are greater than anything this world can offer me.

I know these things with my head and my heart. I'm sold out, as they say. I serve one master. Yet still the struggle exists, the day-to-day choice to pick up our cross and follow Him. How do I sit up on this fence and also make some sort of an impact on the world?

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Living in the US is a blessing, but also gives us choices that they don't have in, say, Haiti. Referring back to what C.S. Lewis said, in the US satan wants to make us materialists, but in Haiti, he wants lead them away from Christ as magicians. It makes me wonder how I ended up where I did. Did God know that I wouldn't hack it on the dirt roads of Haiti, or vice verse? How did I get to be so lucky as to have the 'struggle' of dying to my selfishness. These aren't choices they have in most parts of Haiti, they don't ponder organic vs. store brand. However, they fight a different battle that we'll never fight. Open spiritual warfare isn't something we see in the US. Thinking about my challenge to live modestly in contrast to seeing my neighbor be possessed by a demon puts some perspective on things.

I am reminded that my command is the same as theirs: love the Lord with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.

I will always remember the tenacity these girls had
for survival and for anything American
(especially for my American snacks)!
Tricotte, Haiti - 2004