Showing posts with label mommahood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mommahood. Show all posts

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

This Mother's Day we had the pleasure of my parents coming to visit us (which I think they did last year too but I didn't blog about it?). I've discussed how amazing my mom is before. Another thing that my mom is amazing with is moving. She rocks at helping me set up our new digs, especially the kitchen. We're moving in a week (a week. AGK.) so my mom and dad came for the weekend to start the process, my dad is going home for part of the week to work and coming back later to finish helping us move. My mom is staying for the week to help because she's amazing.





I'll preface the following excitement with a little disclaimer that although I think that it's a good idea to take a day and appreciate our moms (like I said, mine is amazing and totally deserves the recognition more than once a year), I really think that Mother's Day (and Father's Day etc) are kind of just greeting card holidays. Commercialism! Not that I'm trying to get out of getting a card/gift or that I don't want to bless my mom but I just think it's one more way we're exploited by marketing etc. So in my attempt to keep it in check, Blake doesn't have to get me a card and/or gift. However, I'm not opposed to using the 'holiday' to make a fun memory or have a fun experience together. Case in point - I've been looking for an excuse to have a tea party so what better excuse than Mother's Day!

We booked a high tea at a local tea store for my parents and us. The store is classic. Every square inch is filled with Victorian decor or tea paraphernalia. Emerson slept through the first part but when she woke up she sweetly sat on my lap until the end when she switched to Papa's lap. She was great! We decided to have a couple of extra pots of tea (we're tea junkies and the tea store owners know we're loyal regulars which I guess it has it's perks) and that was longer than our little 10 month old wanted to sit around. So Papa took her walking while we finished our last few sips cups. Ahh. It was perfect! I loved every second of it!


Enjoying her baby-sized tea spoon

They have a bunch of fun hats for tea parties (if you want them).. grandma couldn't resist.
Emerson wanted nothing to do with it though!

Our tray of goodies - and they were good!

We had our two favorite teas - Ginger Peach and Creamy Earl Gray (by Market Spice Tea, no other 'cramy earl gray' has compared to theirs.. trust me we've tried several). We also tried a new tea, a Strawberry Cream White tea, and we revisited Creamy Earl Gray :). Emerson loves to share my herbal tea at home, but since this was caffeinated she only got a sip, then we switched her to water. She sure loves drinking out of tea cups though :).


Monday, April 28, 2014

Mommahood Thoughts Part 2

I had anticipated getting one of these posts done at six months too.. and that really sums up my personal aspirations now that I'm mom. Great intentions but....

Oh sorry, I didn't finish that sentence. Ya, I don't finish a lot of things :).

Busy Doing What. I don't know what we do all day sometimes, but I know that most days I consider it a job well done if I've got dinner, dishes and some laundry done, in addition to snuggles, naps (usually just for her) ;) and some kind of learning (which hopefully means reading a book or two and often includes sitting by me while I make dinner).

Looking Forward, Looking Back, Loving Now. It's a constant balancing act with my emotions. I love, love, love everyday life, every new thing, every old thing, every everything is cute (okay, I'm sure there are some unsavory moments in there too). My point is I love the right now. I also look forward to the next things like talking, tea parties and dress up etc. I look at her sometimes and think about all her potential. When she's babbling in the car seat I think about how soon she'll be telling stories and making up songs back there. I also long to capture and enjoy the now moments because they pass so quickly. I probably waste some of the right now moments by trying too hard to make a memory for later. Sometimes I think, what did I do with her and my time 'back when she was little', but it doesn't take long to remember the naps together, the big girl baths and the everyday moments with her by my side. I wax nostalgic about how little she was and how soundly she slept and how cute such and such outfit was etc. I find I'm constantly moving between missing the littler, loving the moment and looking forward to the future. I try not to dwell on how big she's getting or how much I miss the early months or how fast time is going etc. I catch myself saying, I can't wait until she _____ and on the next breath I tell her I'll wait, take her time, you're growing so fast. I remind myself, the point is to grow her up into an adult and enjoy it along the way.

Tired. I wasn't as tired as I expected with a newborn, and then she was a great sleeper... until she wasn't so great. I don't think it was even the interrupted sleep that was effecting me. It's more that I don't get quality sleep most nights. I think I'm going to chalk this up to nutritional deficiency. There were/are so many days I don't eat enough and yet I'm producing enough milk to grow her from 7 lbs to 20 and counting. I think that my fatigue had to do with depletion. I feel like I could put out a public service announcement on the amazing benefits of absorbable magnesium. Since I've been getting more of that (through my skin) I've slept so much better and wake up more rested. All that to say, I finally feel like I can tackle one more thing, run an errand or two and maybe even make that coffee date I'd been talking about. Although I'm a homebody by nature and I don't mind spending six days in a row at home, I felt like I should be able to have it together enough to do play dates, make a friend dinner or not feel exhausted at the thought of grocery shopping. Between better sleep and longer naps, I'm finally feeling a little more productive.

SLEEP. Now I'm talking about her sleep. I could and probably will write an entire post about sleep but for now I'll say that I had no idea that sleep would be the hardest thing about parenting in the first year (so far). I was partly surprised because I expected to have frequent night wakings through the first full year but then she slept through the night for the first 4-5 months and then she stopped. Besides night sleep there's naps. Both sleep situations provide ample opportunity to over-think and wonder what should be done differently, what worked and how I'm screwing her up forever. Swaddle, sleep prop, noise, no noise, movement, no movement, stand on head etc. All the possibilities and variables that in the end... really seem to change nothing. Anyway. I was surprised at how much thought I've put into sleep so far.

Working for a Paycheck. It was just before she was six months that I took a call to fill in at a skilled nursing facility that I used to work at and since then I've worked off and on. At most I worked 4 days straight and at the least I've worked only two hours to help with overload. For awhile it was once or twice a week and lately it's been about every other week. It's been great and (guilt) I don't miss her as much as I thought. Sometimes that's because she comes with me and my trustworthy boss watches her at work (I think that's only been three times). The other times she's either been home with Blake or (most often) with our friends/neighbors. She loves our neighbors and their four daughters (and kind of their son) so it helps that I know she's having a blast. I love seeing her when I come home, but I was surprised that I could actually concentrate on work and not think just of her. However, the guilt that comes when I hear she didn't take a nap, didn't eat, etc. I feel so badly when her routine is screwed up which effects her in different ways. If I hadn't been selfish and worked then she'd wouldn't have had to pay the (albeit small) price. I was also surprised at how quickly that part of my brain turned back on and it was fun to remember that I used to be good at something else ;). I recognized that I'll only be able to get away with this for a few years before I'll have to check my knowledge and skills to make sure I'm still current on things (because you can't actually do continuing ed in every area). Oh, and the paycheck.. ya... man do I miss that! Not enough to give up my SAHM job, but it is nice!



Behind. Always Behind. I'm definitely one of those moms who embraces the idea that they're only little for a little while so the dishes can wait (although dishes usually do get done, sometimes thanks to Blake's help). That means dusting waits, toilets wait, the projects wait and (as you've noticed) the blog waits. If I work more than once in a week or if we're gone for a weekend (or longer) or if we're just really busy it takes me three times as long to catch back up (case in point: my suitcase from a week long visit to grandparents took me two weeks to unpack.). I used to stay up late and get caught up, but when I got more and more tired I had to start going to sleep with Emerson and Blake. Now, I'm just behind. Maybe with the trend of longer naps I'll eventually get caught up. Just in time to have another baby probably. Kidding. That's not on the horizon yet.

Clothes. It's no surprise that I get attached to her clothes. It isn't very rational but nonetheless I do. I'm kind of a nerd about them too. Certain outfits that I love I line dry, so they won't shrink and might fit longer. I'm super sensitive to scents so I only use homemade detergent etc. I am surprised that I get attached to her pajamas. I'm not one of those people that ever really had an obsession with footie pajamas. I actually like non-footie pajamas better on her because her feet sweat so much. I'm a little picky about all cotton pj's because of that. There are a few pjs that I always gravitate to and some that I shy away from but when I'm packaging her clothes I always longingly nuzzle the pajamas in addition to a few other favorites.

Diapers. I still love cloth diapers. It's interesting that before introducing solids her poop started to change texture and smell as her teeth emerged. It didn't even take solids before I started spraying out her diapers. She also started pooping less often, even before solids, so that makes diaper changing easier anyway. I also have favorite diapers and others that I just use just because I have to. I don't mind folding and stuffing diapers, but (see the note on being behind) I don't always get them done before we slowly use them and wash them. I.e., sometimes the laundry basket becomes the diaper basket but I love it when I make time to get them all stuffed and put away. I still wish I had more white diapers, but I've come to appreciate a few of the colored ones too.

Toys. I've said before that the best toys aren't toys at all. I've started using a two basket toy system (loosely) where I keep half of her toys in each and only use one basket for several weeks. Otherwise she gets used to all of them and wants none of them. I hardly ever pack toys for outings anymore because she just chucks them as soon as something (a non-toy usually) comes along. She's just as happy (or happier) with a chapstick tube, purse strap or my keys as she is with any of her toys. I'm really hoping she doesn't get a ton of toys for her birthday because she burns through them so fast, they add up quickly and really there's enough learning to be had from life that we don't need toys to teach her things. There are days that she doesn't play with a single toy. That said, we do have some favorites and I'm a fan of classic toys that can grow with her and I know that she'll be more interested in toys later as she plays with them differently.
Another frustrating aspect of toys is that so many of them are plastic, under the guise of being 'safer' but I hate that everything think of giving babies is always plastic. We have some great wood toys.. but they're usually painted with who knows what. While she's in the chew/suck/chuck stage I don't give her some of even the wood toys, but I know she'll enjoy them later when she can actually build a block tower instead of chew on a block etc.

A current favorite. She loves pulling herself up and walking around it.


Books. As much as I think toys are hit or miss... I think you can't have enough books. We've been reading together since before she could see that far (although I confess, I'm not as consistent as I'd like to be). We don't have specific routines other than we read her Bible before bedtime. I sometimes wonder what she really got out of books when she was so little, and even what she gets out of them now when she hardly sits still long enough to get through three pages. Yet, I persist. And I always will. Whether it seems like she's getting any more out of them than just me talking to her, I know they're important and truly it's just as much about my enjoyment of the process as it is her enrichment. She is finally getting more interested in books in general (as opposed to the few favorites she's had) and she definitely pays more attention to the connection between words I'm saying and where I'm pointing. She just started really getting a kick out of hearing animal noises and she really loves books that have cut outs for her to play with or turn pages from.

Instead of just pulling them out of the basket, she also looks at them for a bit now. Sorry for the phone picture.


Well there you have it. Some mammahood updates. Overall, I'm so overwhelmed by how much I love and cherish her. I'm so thankful for every day that we get to hang out together and I'm so blessed by her sweet smile and happy disposition. This truly is my favorite job yet.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Day 3: Personal Entry - Mommahood

I'm three months in and loving every minute of it. I just can't get enough of that sweet face! There have been some aspects of being a mom that surprised me and some that are as I expected. In general, I wake up every day (and sometimes night) thinking that this is the best job I've ever had and how lucky I am to do it full-time.

Some of the surprises: 
- I can't believe how fast her fingernails grow! A silly thing but I am really surprised by how frequently I need to clip them. I'm also surprised at how quickly the darn clippers got dull!

- Her poop doesn't stink to me (now her three day old diapers on wash day.. that's a different story). I was surprised at how quickly she maxed out the absorbency of her newborn all-in-ones and we had to start doing 'night time diapers' (our next level BumGenius 4.0 one-size diapers) which are a little big on her but allow for more inserts. They still seal fine, but it's so much stuff between her legs and they go up her back so far! A small price to pay to keep her pajamas and bed dry at night. 

- I'm not nearly as tired as I thought I'd be, even in the middle of the night when she still woke up. I do have tired days from time to time, especially when she was going through a growth spurt. However, for the most part I'm fine. I was pretty groggy during night wakings for the first month, but now I feel like I might be getting too much sleep (just not consecutive sleep). 

- I love nursing. I didn't think I'd hate it or anything, I'm just surprised by how much I love it. I love watching her nuzzle in and how her hands relax as her tummy gets full. I love the shape her mouth makes when she eats. I love how she'll look up at me from the corner of her eye and crack a milky smile and then suck faster to catch up. I love the look she gets on her face when I lay her on my lap and she knows what's coming.. and if I take too long the little 'harumph' she makes to let me know she's waiting. I love it in the morning and I love it in the night. I love that it is a special thing between us and that I can comfort her in this way. I just love it. Now that she's pretty independent in latching and knows her way around, it's such an enjoyable part of our lives. 

- I thought I'd be so super sad with every passing phase (and I am a little), but really, I find that I'm excited to see her growing and look forward to getting to know her more. Who will this smiley baby turn out to be like, what are her quirks and what will she look like as a toddler, little girl, young adult etc. I think this is partly because we plan/hope to have more babies.. the last baby will likely be a different story.

- I might regret saying this, and probably her personality has a lot to do with it, but it's easier than I expected. I guess I thought that day one would be hard and that it would just get harder for awhile, but it's been a pretty natural change and transition. Again, she's an easy baby and I do recognize that it does get harder with mobility, attitudes, free will, toddlerness etc. as she gets older. I just found myself surprised by how normal life still seems (you know that thing where you say something on the internet and then it comes back to bite you.. lets hope this doesn't happen here). Sometimes I'd look in the mirror and notice that I'm still just myself but holding a baby. I thought that I'd, I don't know, look different or feel very different, like the weight of the world on my shoulders or something. Instead, I'm just me. We're just us but with a baby. Sure we have made some changes but they haven't been that drastic or life altering. Not sure if that makes sense.

- This kind of goes along with the thought above. I didn't 'feel' like a mom, or feel like I looked like a mom until one day when she was about a month old and I realized we were late for an appointment. I hurried to get her into the carseat and dashed out the door. Halfway to our destination I looked in the rear view mirror and realized I didn't have a stitch of make up on. I scrambled through the diaper bag in my mind, wondering if there was anything I could use to help ... which of course there wasn't. I did put a little of her coconut oil on my eye lashes hoping it would give them some effect of mascara (it didn't). So I shrugged my shoulders and thought.. well, I guess this is what it's like to be a mom... and I really felt it at that moment. Since then there have been a few other times when I've felt that way, like when she spits up all over me and I'm already a day behind on showering and I am wearing the same clothes I slept in when Blake gets home etc. I also feel a little more like a mom now that she has started to cry when other/unfamiliar people hold her. She pretty immediately gets happy again once I take her back and that makes me feel like a mom too.

And some things that are kind of how I expected:

- Mommy guilt. I feel guilty for not getting much done around the house because I held her so much.. or I feel guilty for putting her down to get housework done. I try not to let this get to me, but it's funny how it still creeps in. I think this is why we give our kids so much guilt when they're older.. payback ;).

- I could stare at her and hold her forever. I can't get enough! Even though it is nice when she takes a good nap and I can be productive, I find that I missed her sweet cheeks when she wakes up.

- I don't miss work one tiny bit! Granted it's only been a few months, but so far... I love being home and I even enjoy the solitude (again, this might wear off). I have found that just recently I am missing that routine and some of the social aspects of working, but I really don't miss work. I'm also slowly building in social aspects and routine into life so it might just be a slow transition. I'll need to do some prn work now and then to keep my brain working so that if I ever do go back to work I'm not totally lost, but it seems like such a different world. I feel like I lost that part of my brain. Maybe it will come back if I do work a day (hopefully!) and maybe doing continuing ed will help.

- I do in fact love cloth diapers! Although the new has worn off, I'm loving my healthy, money-saving, green choice and so far we haven't used a disposable (that's my goal.. to never use any.. we'll see how we're doing come night time with a toddler and with the last kid) ;).

- Blake is a wonderful daddy. Not only is he supportive to me, he's great with Emerson. She adores him too. She'll sit in his lap and reach her hand up to grab his goatee and is just plum happy. She always smiles when she sees him and he was the first one to get giggles out of her. Someone tried to explain how wonderful it is to watch the person you love, loving your child but it's hard to do it justice with words. It's incredible.

- I can't wait to teach her things! I know I'm teaching her things now but it's just so fun to watch her little world expand and see her growing and thinking and learning! And I love being the one to teach it to her!

So there you have it. Some of my thoughts about mommahood so far!