So, What's It Like?

To be married to me?

This summer I met with a group of women to go through the book What's It Like to be Married to Me?: and Other Dangerous Questions. It was an encouraging experience. This book provided a nice outline to discuss marriage and to challenge ourselves to become better wives.

Although it wasn't quite as dangerous as I expected, reading and discussing this book with friends was a blessing. The topics, or dangerous questions, were thought provoking and helped us to think about our marriages from a different perspective. It is also very helpful that the author provides a study guide in the back of the book. My only criticism would be that some of her stories/examples are a little extreme and harder to relate to for the average wife. Other than those few exceptions, Linda Dillow does a great job in tying together scripture, personal experience, literature and examples from other women. While it was no dangerous sledgehammer to the forehead, it served as an encouraging reminder of what's important in life and in my marriage.

I thought I'd give you the dangerous questions (i.e., chapters) and some of my insights from them (where appropriate), both to share with you and to remind myself later! I had intended to do this as I went through the book, but instead it's all going in one (long) post.. sorry!

Intro: By Design, Not Default
Talks about why you married, what you expect out of marriage and what your examples of marriage were from your childhood and young adulthood. This chapter also discusses, most importantly, why should we look into ourselves and how we could change instead of looking at our husband's weaknesses (not that we ever do that.. right?). I needed this chapter to snap me out of selfishness. As I was starting this book I thought, why am I always reading marriage books and improving myself as a wife and Blake isn't reading husband books... An obvious example of why I needed to do this book study!

1. What is really important to me?
What do my choices say, what are my priorities? I found that the answers to these questions really depended on the season of life we're in. When I'm not working, I can easily make Blake a priority, however, when there are demands like two jobs or someday little kids, it's not as easy - but just as important - to make sure my marriage and husband are a priority. Jesus said it best in Matt. 22:37-39 : Love God first and your neighbor as yourself.. well, who is your closest neighbor? Your husband!

This chapter challenged us to write a purpose statement for our marriage, and also gave some great examples of what God did in women's lives who chose to put their marriage at the top of their list.

So as the book suggested I chose to adapt a scripture for my marriage purpose statement:
1 Corinthians 13:1-7 *I had to write my own for the exercise, but also love The Message version)
If I'm well read and well spoken in every area, but don't love Blake, then my words would only be white noise.
If I was as spiritually adept as Paul, and understood all of God's plans and ways, if I had faith that could move mountains, but didn't love Blake, I would be nothing.
If I worked night and day for the poor, the fatherless and the widows, if I rose at dawn and worked til all hours of the night, but if I didn't love my husband more, then I would have gained nothing. 

I will be patient with and kind to Blake
I will not be jealous of him or boastful to him or proud or rude to him .
I will not demand my own way.
I will not be irritable, and will not keep a record of when I am wronged by him. 
I will not rejoice in the injustice he experiences but will rejoice whenever the truth wins out. 

I will never give up on our marriage, I will never lose faith in God's design for our love, I will always be hopeful for the best in our lives and I will endure through every circumstance life brings us.

Beach Getaway

We made it to the beach last weekend for a quick weekend getaway. Rain or shine, there's just something peaceful about the coast. 

Love these chairs in front of the cabin.

Blake doing his duty and feeding the birds.

This was opening weekend of the Illwaco Saturday Market so we started the day off with breakfast and a slow stroll through the art vendors. 

Breakfast at the Beach House
Kind of a nothing picture.. but I like something about it. 

We also walked down through the marina since it seemed like it might make for good photos. Can I just brag about my hubs here for a minute.. he is not only patient about my newest hobby, but he also actively encourages it. He'll think of places that would be good photo spots, all on his own, he is always willing to stop for a picture when the light is right or when either of us see something that catches our eye and he will stand there and be so supportive when I take frame after frame (after frame...) of seemingly the same subject. I just adore him and feel so adored by him. 

No trip to the beach is complete without a visit to Adelaide's for coffee and a new book, and this trip was no exception.

Simply delicious.

Adelaide's was formerly the Taylor House, and old hotel.
Such a neat building.

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This time I bought Tyler Florence's Dinner at My Place and have not been disappointed. Say what you will about Tyler's personality (he has a bit of a reputation for being arrogant and cocky), but the man knows his way around the kitchen and I enjoy many of his recipes (e.g., my go-to chocolate tart recipe is his). The book is organized by meal rather than course/ingredient and each chapter gives a full menu for one night. The menus are both elegant and practical and the photos are fantastic. I love how cookbooks these days are half art, half cooking. I literally read this cover-to-cover on the way home and have already added several recipes into next weeks meal plan. I'm also making one of the desserts for Bible study this week. (Stay tuned.)

A little surprise bonus was a lengthy chapter on baby foods! It should come in handy in a few years.

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After Adelaide's we were off to take some (more) pictures. My photographer cousin Macey had joined us and Blake was a great sport, along for the ride (okay, he was actually our chauffeur). We were going to walk through a park that we haven't been to on the other end of the peninsula, but we found giant mosquitoes there and didn't make it more than 100 feet down the trail before turning back. Scary. I did snap a couple of pictures though.

Actual size (or so it seemed)

We retreated to the beach and spent a good amount of time there playing with lenses, poses and remotes. We had a blast and got some great pictures. Macey, being a professional photographer, obviously has a little more to show for the afternoon, you should check out her post about the day. It was really fun to get to spend some time with her and our new common interest (it's been her interest for along time, but you know what I mean). She is in the process of moving to Portland and I'm excited that I might be seeing more of her now. She does a great job explaining our relationship in her post, but I'll just say that she is the closest I'll ever come to a sister and it is a joy whenever we get some time together.

So, we thought we'd try out my remote and take some stop-action jumping shots.. I mean.. how fun, right!? We had no idea how funny and difficult it would be.. here's a video (pretty short and no sound.. hope it works) of our attempts...

Seagulls

How fun is this beach chair!?

 Did you know that Blake is silly? Well, he is.

We also couldn't leave without doing a puzzle. This was a great one. Only 550 pieces, so perfect for the shorter visit, but really interesting the way it is designed. Each edge starts it's own garden scene, with all of them meshing together and their skies meeting in the middle. It was really nice to have the puzzle right side up for everyone! 

Well, that was our weekend. What a fantastic little break from reality, it is totally worth the five and a half hour drive there and back. We make the most of the car ride too of course!

Bread

My quest lately has been to make bread instead of buying it. Fortunately, I am the one who eats sandwiches most often, so it is mostly me that is affected by the unreliability of available bread. This week I made two loaves. The trouble with homemade bread is that it is so darn good. We end up eating it faster than store bread and then I don't have any for sandwiches.

I am using recipes from the book Peter Reinhart's artisan breads every day (pictured left) and the two I made yesterday were his whole wheat sandwich bread (I reviewed this book here). It was delicious. It still is delicious and will still be delicious for another day or two, hopefully.

I love the recipes in this book because they incorporate overnight rises. I have the hardest time working bread into a weekday because I'm not around enough to punch it down, rise again, punch it down and proof. I needed to find bread that tasted good (flavor develops in the rising) but also wasn't going to be ruined if I didn't pay attention to it. The recent bread I made, for example, was intended to be baked on Friday, but Friday got too busy, so it stayed in the refrigerator until Monday. Which is how long Peter says it can be left. One loaf's worth I took out on Friday, let it rise and then realized I didn't have time to bake it, so back in the fridge it went. That bread did bake up significantly fluffier, so I'm wondering if that out of fridge time helped. Anyway.. 'museings of a want-to-be baker' is what I should call this post.

The real purpose of this post is to say that whenever I think of bread, which is frequently, a few phrases or verses come to mind:

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Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, Moses didn't give you bread from heaven. My Father did.
And now He offers you the true bread from heaven. The true bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world."
  "Sir," they said, "give us that bread every day."
Jesus replied, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. John 6:32-35


But Jesus told him, "No! The Scriptures say, 'People do not live by bread alone, but
by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" Matt. 4:4


Give us this day our daily bread. Matt. 6:11

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I need these reminders when I think of bread. Making bread is just the first step in self sufficiency. I am so tempted by the notion of being self sufficient. Anything I can do myself I try to do it: grind the flour, grow the yeast (sourdough), knead by hand (okay.. I let the mixer do that most of the time). If I could I'd grow the grain, raise chickens for the eggs, cows for milk, bees for  honey etc. Now that would be a feat in an apartment!

I'm sure that all of this would be exhausting, and I am so grateful that if I did do all of those things, it would be a hobby for fun and not my only source to supply food. I can drive seven to ten minutes in any direction and find a grocery store and I am thankful for this, SO thankful. It is a blessing to be able to have the time and resources to make something homemade. This means that I have a roof over my head, a stocked pantry and kitchen appliances galore. We live in a blessed nation, for the time being, and I am daily reminded of it and thankful for it.

I am also reminded that, 'in my weakness, He is stronger' (2 Cor. 12:9). It is human nature to be independent, but we are to be dependent on God for our daily bread and for the bread of life. I can work hard and scrape together my existence on my own, or I can submit to my Father's provision and be fruitful. I can fight to let my desires and personality shine, or I can die to my sinful nature and be a slave to Christ and be blessed!

I was listening to an interview with Christian music artist Matthew West in which he was discussing his recent experience talking to Billy Graham. Matthew asked Billy for his advice on how to stay strong in the Lord through so many years of public ministry. Matthew says that Billy told him to protect his quiet time. Matthew quotes Billy in saying that 'your time alone with God is the most important thing to your ministry, your family and you: it will be what sustains you. Even Satan knows that daily time alone with the Lord is important, and he will do anything he can to keep you from it.' (paraphrased).


It is a daily task to be sure. Much like the daily tasks of keeping a garden, farm or field; so it is a daily task to stay growing in the Lord. A steady, growing, fruitful relationship with our Savior does not happen without labor, but it is a labor of love, joy, peace and hope. So much so, that it does not feel like labor at all.

We cannot live on bread alone, we need to feast daily on the Bread of Life.