Pendleton on A Sunny Evening

Sometimes the light is just so perfect. Everything is lit up with this soft, bright light that makes every blade of grass, building, hillside and horizon look better and magical.  Usually when this happens it seems like I am never in the position to stop and take a picture so I'm resigned to just enjoy the moment and the light while it lasts, which is nice too. 

Sometimes, though, I can stop and take a few pictures. This was one of those days. 

This evening of capturing the light, as fun as it was, resulted in the need for my first attempt at serious Photoshop editing. I liked this little shack, but the only angle I could get had a fence in the way. So I erased it. It was a lot of work! Particularly because my computer didn't have a ton of RAM (yet), which makes it think slower than me in the morning. Here are the before and after files. You are looking at: crop, contrast, highlights/shadows and a lot of the healing brush. That's all I've figured out so far in my trial version of Photoshop Elements. 

Before. Raw converted straight to jpeg (so that we can see it).

After

Before. Again, raw converted straight to jpeg.

After

Before. Raw --> jpeg

After

The Way the Cookie Crumbles

In our family we have a cookie conundrum. With chocolate chip cookies, specifically. I grew up in a house with butter-only chocolate chip cookies. Blake grew up in a house with shortening-only chocolate chip cookies. Yes, now you see the conundrum.

Now, in my point of view, there are so many delicious desserts to be had, that the familiar chocolate chip cookie does not rank too high on the list. I like almost any dessert, from the old-fashioned apple pie to the pretentiously rich pot de crème and everything in between. The chocolate chip cookie, for me, is just another dessert among the masses and only has value if it is chewy-soft and butter-fatty delicious.

Blake, however, likes two things. Chocolate chip cookies and ice cream. Sure, he's broadened his palate over the years and will claim some new favorites like dark chocolate soufflé, crème brûlée and the Samoas Girl Scout Cookie (his choice, not mine.. the mouth wants what the mouth wants). However, the chocolate chip cookie will be, and always has been, his first choice. For Blake, the only real chocolate chip cookie is his mom's and every other cookie is just trying to be like it.

I think that we can all agree that while the chocolate chip cookie has some culinary merit, the primary value in a chocolate chip cookie for most people is nostalgia.

This is where the butter vs. shortening plot thickens. If you grew up with your mom making chocolate chip cookies with either form of fat, it is hard to fully enjoy a cookie that contains the other type of fat. There's just something missing, it just isn't like mom's cookies.

So in our house, Blake's cookie desires rule. It's just not that important to me (because really, I just eat the dough), so I make them how he likes them, or as close as I can anyway. There's still some mom magic that I can't recreate, and that's okay.

Yes. I did just talk about desserts and chocolate chip cookies for six paragraphs. That's how deeply the chocolate chip cookie conundrum has impacted our lives.

The real issue is this. Blake likes them how he likes them because it's how he grew up - nothing wrong with that - but I have a health conscience that takes issue with eating things filled with shortening and really want to find a cookie recipe that uses a less processed fat and possibly less sugar... yet still bakes up fluffy, soft and chewy (instead of melting out flat like so many butter-only cookie recipes). Something that I can get my kids hooked on and that will make their future families have their own cookie conundrum.

I THINK I HAVE FOUND THAT RECIPE and I am going to share it with you today, along with a few pictures, of course.

Best-Ever Chocolate Chip Cookies
(Recipe and directions directly from here)

Ingredients:
3/4 c. unsalted butter, softened
3/4 c. brown sugar
1/4 c. granulated sugar
1 egg
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 c. all purpose flour
2 tsp. cornstarch
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 c. bittersweet chocolate chips

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

2. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream together butter and sugars until fluffy and light in color. Add egg and vanilla and blend in. *(I did this by hand)

3. Mix in flour, cornstarch, baking soda and salt. Stir in chocolate chunks.

4. Using a standard-sized cookie scoop or tablespoon, drop dough onto a prepared baking sheet. Bake for 8-10 minutes, until barely golden brown around the edges. (The tops will not brown, but do NOT cook longer than ten minutes.)

5. Let cool, on the sheet, on a wire rack for five minutes. Remove from baking sheet and let cool completely. Makes approximately 3 dozen. Try not to eat them all.

And unrelated to cookies.. but just for good measure.. some photo experimentation from my first full evening of daylight on Friday night...

Drum Roll Please...

And now the moment we've all I've been waiting for...

A photo affectionately referred to as IMG_0001

Yes. That's right. The first picture.

I have obsessed over this for quite some time. I've been researching and reading and doing everything I could in order to be prepared for this moment. In the end, my camera arrived on Monday but I had to work until 10:30 pm.. not a prime picture taking hour. So then I had to wait some more until 7:50 in the morning and snap a few pictures before work. Fortunately, my dear husband suggested buying some flowers this weekend so that I would have something to photograph when the long awaited camera arrived.

ISO 160   f/1.4   SS 1/640  WB: Auto

I'll admit, the white balance and ISO were on auto but it was in manual mode. My goal is to keep it in manual as long as possible. Kind of like constraint induced therapy ;). After this shot I realized that the white balance wasn't what I wanted and I changed it.

Here is picture two, a little warmer:

ISO 125  f/1.4  SS 1/640  WB: Cloudy

After that I went for a self portrait:

ISO 500  f/1.4  SS 1/640  WB: Cloudy

And to spare you the sixty or so pictures of the flowers I took when I got home from work (after dark).. here is just one. I don't love it.. but I didn't love any of the fifty-nine before it either.. the lighting in our dining room, or whole entire apartment for that matter, is not great. Especially at night. I just can't get the white balance right, but I do enjoy the Kelvin option.

ISO 2500  f/1.4  SS 1/1000  WB: 2600K

Well, there you have it. My first day of experimentation. We'll see what photo opportunities the future holds!

Lessons in Love

Love is a complex thing. So complex that in the original languages (Greek, Hebrew, Latin etc) they have multiple words to describe what we describe with one word in English: love.

I've been learning about love lately, in a way that is hard to explain but I'm going to try for the sake of remembering the lessons later.

To preface, I just have to say that I've been loved my whole life. I grew up in a house where my parents and family loved me and told me so daily. I grew up going to church and learning about God's love. I have had dear friends that I love and who have loved me back. I have been covered by and surrounded by love all of my life.

One day I realized that I loved Blake, but even more amazing... I realized that he loved me. I mean, he really loved me. The longer we are married the more it sinks in, he really loves me. I can't explain why this was such a revelation but it certainly was. I have never felt as loved as I do now in my marriage.

As I analyze (because this is what I do) how Blake makes me feel, and how I act in relation to how I feel and how all of these experiences reshape my understanding of love; I not only know in my head that Blake loves me, but I know it deep in my heart, I experience it.

At some point it occurred to me that as much as I know that God loves me, I know that I love Him, I fear, respect, and am deeply grateful to Him, I also don't feel as loved by God as I do by Blake. I know I'm loved by God, in my head, I know that I love Him and I know how much I don't deserve His love. But as I started to wrap my head around how deeply I love Blake and how deeply I feel loved by Blake, it made me start to wonder why I didn't feel this deep sense of love in relation to God.

Like I said, I have been loved my whole life, and I have loved God as best I could.. but once I realized that love could be deeper and more intimate than the love I'd known by my parents and friends... I wanted to extend that feeling to my Creator. I can't really explain this, except to think that maybe Blake is the first person that has the choice to love me. I know my parents don't have to love me, but it seems like it isn't as much of a choice for them as it is for Blake. Maybe this is something I'll understand when I have kids, but at any rate this isn't to say anything negative about the love from my parents.

As I understand how I think about and experience love differently, I start to understand that the verses in the Bible about God's love for us describe an even greater love than the love I feel from Blake. The tangible love that I feel in marriage helps me understand a little better the depth of God's love for us.

This all seems a little backwards to me... shouldn't I feel the love of God the strongest, since His love is the strongest? Shouldn't I compare Blake's love to God's love, and not the other way around? I really don't know. All I can say is that this is how it is unfolding.

And as it unfolds I am learning what it means to truly feel loved by God, and to deeply love him back in a different way. When I say that I love Jesus, something in me understands it differently. It is tangible, intimate, logical and emotional. I think it used to be a little less intimate and emotional, and a little more logical.

Isn't growing great!? I've heard it said, "if you aren't growing - you're dying." Another saying goes, "if you don't use it, you lose it." This is true in all aspects of life. Sometimes it's painful to grow, but what's the alternative? Life is about moving forward, dying to my selfish self, being a little more like Christ today than I was yesterday and growing a little deeper in the grace and understanding of Jesus (2 Peter 3:18).

A Few Things

Alternate titles:
Weekend Update or Condensed Tidbits.

We had a three-day weekend with Friday off for both of us. We left for Kelso on Thursday night from my Pendleton job, which made for a long Thursday. Well worth it though. It meant two days with no working and lots of relaxation and catching up. It seemed like it had been forever since we'd been home to see our parents but it's only been a little over a month ago, for Blake's 30th.

Here are the highlights:

• Sleeping in three days in a row - awesome. Maybe even makes up for the daylight savings change.
• Went shopping with my mom and her friend Linda, saw tons of cute spring decorations.
• Quality time with the fam including my parents, my brother Jared and Blake's parents. I wish my younger brother Jordan and his girlfriend Jordan could have come up too! The boys men got in many hours of target practice, ammunition reloading and went to a gun show.
• Watched the tail end of my 'niece' Ada's basket ball game. Her team didn't win (they were playing 5th graders, and her and her teammates are 4th graders).. but she did score ALL the points that her team did get! She's a pretty good little basketball player, but I hear she's even better at soccer. I hope to see for myself this spring!

• Met my parents' newest farm additions: unnamed baby chicks, Sally the mule, and Shiner and Miss Piggy the pigs (not as new, but I hadn't gone out to meet them yet.. they're huge!). I only took pictures of the chicks.. cause come on, they're so darn cute. But rest assured, soon I'll be hunting for photo opportunities and I'm sure the horse, cows, mule and pigs will fall victim to my new camera. 
 

Aren't I just too cute?

• Had a lovely and highly cherished afternoon visit with my dear friend Mary, some girl time with Ada making cookies and some time with the currently under-the-weather Deacon (he helped with cookies too, and enjoyed a fresh batch of my mom's homemade mac and cheese).
• Last but not least... ordered my camera, two lenses (1, 2) and a polarizing filter!! They should arrive on Monday... I can't wait! I've had the camera model picked out for awhile, and I'm 4/5ths of the way through reading the manual :). Just trying to be prepared! I'm still debating what my first picture will be of... I guess you'll find out next week!

Same Old, Same Old

If you ever ask my grandpa how he and grandma are doing, his first response is usually, "Same Old, same Old." Now that they're getting a little older he might give a more specific report of what ails him or her, but for a long time thats what he would say and the saying always reminds me of him.

I feel like this has become my answer to that question too. I was lamenting my lack of blog posting and the rut my thoughts are in lately: work, work, work. Same old, same old.

I had to laugh when I played through last week in my mind:

Sunday: very windy, church, take Blake to airport, work (Pendleton), knit/watch Episodes 1 & 2 of Downton Abbey, Season 2, bed.
Monday: very windy, work (school), work (Pendleton), knit/watch episode 3, bed.
Tuesday: very windy, work (school), work (Pendleton), knit/watch episode 4, bed.
Wednesday: very windy, work (school), work (Pendleton), knit/talk to visiting brother, bed.
Thursday: very windy, work late (school), pick Blake up from airport, Bible study, bed.
Friday: very windy, work (school), work (Pendleton), knit/hang out w/hubs, bed.
Saturday: kinda windy. Free. Sleep until noon, run errands, finish knitting project/gift, wrap gifts, go to birthday party for friends' 2 & 5 year olds. Bed.

Notice some themes? This week will look very similar but instead of Downton Abbey it will be something Blake picks, which means he'll be home and there's no birthday party this week. It's still really, really windy which makes my commute less enjoyable (have to actually have both hands on the wheel).

I thought I'd get more sleep with Blake gone because I can usually take or leave watching tv at night, but I knew this was my only opportunity to watch some period British drama for awhile. I did lose a few pounds though by packing healthy lunches, dinners and snacks and not eating after I got home (10:30 ish). It was a little treat that I didn't have to provide food for anyone else this week (Blake made dinner on Friday).

The circumstances that lead to my working extra nights in Pendleton are a little complicated but there is an upside! Blake agrees that with my extra income I can buy a new camera!!! I'll even be able to buy it in time for spring break in Cabo (also paid for by extra income) :). So even though I'm exhausted, I'm thankful for the work and that it means that I'll have a job this summer and a new camera sooner than expected (and an extra vacation). It should only last through March and then I'll go to only four nights or maybe back to three nights a week.

Well, this has turned into narrative tidbits. So I'll throw in a few pictures for good measure. I figure that a random narrative post was better than no post!

The knitting project

No pictures of it actually on the 5 year old though

Driving into Pendleton. Now that it is daylight when I
drive, I've been trying to see what my little camera
can do in manual mode. Not great  but this is the only
redeeming picture out of about 25. I am shooting
through a windshield and while driving after all.
(don't judge me too much for clicking while I drive!)

And my favorite...

This is the playground/field at one of my schools. This picture is actually taken from my phone, but
I just absolutely love the light at the end of the day around there and had to capture it in someway. 

Well, there you have it. Something, rather than nothing!

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

What's that sound? Oh, it's just my biological clock ticking.

I thought I'd give you a little update on the journey to motherhood. Not that you asked, and NOT that I'm pregnant (just to clarify again, I said, NOT PREGNANT) but more so to satisfy my need to obsess over it a little more.

I will say that booking a trip that is about eight months from now is helping to ebb the spontaneous urge of forgoing the plan. The trip gives me some motivation and reward for sticking to the plan, since it wouldn't be very fun to be either a) +/- 8 months pregnant on a transcontinental flight (I don't think that you're even supposed to fly by then?), b) pregnant and on vacation in a foreign country (okay I can think of worse things to be doing while pregnant.. but still it doesn't seem like a good idea), or c) cancel a trip with minimal refunds because you are pregnant/giving birth/popping any minute. I'll take option d) stick to the plan and don't get pregnant until August 2013 (or at least not until after November 2012).

I know this sounds so selfish, like oh we want to travel before having kids. And I know that traveling seems contraindicated with financial freedom. However, we really feel that through constant faithful prayer, it just isn't time yet. In addition, we've worked travel into the financial freedom plan and feel that it is worth it.

So here's the obsessive part.

Blake and I talk about baby names at least once a week. Last week he sent me a text of some new names in case we have more than one girl (yikes!) because he was just browsing some names at work (!?). We have a theme to our name picks, but it isn't the same first letter and that's all we're saying. Yes, we are those annoying people that won't reveal our baby name(s) until s/he is born. We will find out the sex, but aren't sure when or how and who we'll tell.

Every time either of us are around a baby - which happens at least once a week at Bible study - we come away with a sigh and a weak resolution to stick to the plan. Sometimes we like to play through the scenario of 'what if' we didn't stick to the plan. What if we just started trying this year, what if we both worked five days a week at our second jobs, what if we... oh, we'll be so much better off if we just stick to that plan.

Speaking of the plan, I can give you the plan timeline in days or months. I seem to review all the alternative dates and possible timelines outside of the plan at least weekly, in case the plan gets tossed out (unlikely.. but you know, just in case). The more I try to work in an earlier ending to the plan (i.e., start trying sooner than the plan dictates), the more I realize why we set the plan up how it is. *sigh* We should just stick to the plan.

We are resolved to stay the course, realizing that it is our plan and praying that if God has other plans.. He'll align our hearts with His and let us know. We may not actually stick to the original plan, but until we are prompted to do otherwise, it is The Plan.

It's interesting how the waiting faithfully is actually helping in many areas of life. Knowing that there is an end to overworking ourselves, helps bring joy to the work. There's a sense of purpose and appreciation for these last years/months of a full-time (paid) career and the chance to use my time wisely. I'm more purposeful in my relationships and take the opportunity to speak words of faith and love to people when I might not have before. I am more purposeful with my work. I take the time to learn from as many opportunities as I can, and have a new desire to go back and really understand some content areas or treatment approaches that I have previously been satisfied with only a rudimentary understanding of until now. I am more purposeful in my household duties. If I think I want to do this full time and add kids to it.. shouldn't I take a little more pride in my system of household management now (or rather shouldn't I develop a system now)?

I'm surprised by how God is using this time. I shouldn't be surprised at all, these days are just as precious as the days that we are looking forward to. I can see that God is using them to prepare us for something in the future, and to make these days count. It never ceases to amaze me what God can do when you set your heart on honoring His. What a great reminder of the blessings that come when you try to surrender your life over and trust Him to replace it.

: :

The next installment: The Baby Plan: Remix

Mmm... Nutella

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Nutella? It's chocolatey hazelnutty goodness.

My brother bought us some Valentine's day cookies, and I had to do a little rearranging to make the calories really worth it. 

I wish the bakeries here had Nutella Day like the pasticceria in Venice... well, I suppose my waistline is thankful that they don't. 

Mmm... Nutella. Happy Valentine's Day!

Update

About eight months ago, I made a list to try to organize my head. I've thought about that list a few times, but until today I've been to afraid of the failure to look back at it.

However, in the name of procrastination from mundane housework, I'm willing to face my fear of failure and see how I've fared on my list.


Goals/Projects (Not in any particular order, written June 17, 2011)

1. get up earlier (In-progress. Off and on I've accomplished this, mostly out of necessity for work)
2. go to bed earlier (Met. I've definitely gotten better about this, save the occasional late weekend night)
3. have longer quiet times everyday (In-progress. Still working on this, always working on this)
4. have more purposeful prayer times everyday (see above)
5. finish the three four five innumerable crochet projects I've started: bath mitts, sweaters, slippers, hats, socks etc. (Partially Met. Of those listed, I finished the bath mitts, several hats, and frogged the socks so I could knit them. Sweaters are still in progress, as are about two hats and a blanket)
6. finish the two knitting projects I've started: lace scarf, hat (MET and Exceeded! Started/finished a pair of socks and started another pair of socks and a couple of head wraps. I have almost no time for knitting/crocheting these days so it's a good thing I set this goal low).
7. start the millions of knitting and crochet projects I have queued. (In-Progress. I've started a few of them!)
8. make more time for reading (Met! YES! I've definitely done this!)
9. join a book club (Met and exceeded. Not only joined, but started a book club blog. It's been really fun. You can check it out here)
10. start using a weekly menu plan (Unmet. Near fail, I did this for three weeks but haven't managed to do it since)
11. grocery shop once a week (In-progress. We've been a little better about this in general. Also see above)
12. use up produce before it goes bad (Met. I have been better about this, specifically during the three weeks, but even after, we've been better about using up veggies, or not buying them)
13. make my own bread every week (Fail Not Met. HA! This lasted about 2 weeks several months ago. I still have hopes for this though!)
14. grind my own flour for said bread (Partially Met. I do grind my own flour for most things, even if I'm not making bread)
15. make as many things homemade as possible (In-Progress. I still try to do this, but only with certain things, since I'm not home very much)
16. maintain a sourdough starter for longer than one month (Partially Met, On hold.. I did maintain it for longer than a month, but just barely. When we went on vacation.. it died.)
17. take better pictures (In-progress. I've started to do this, at least within the limits of my current camera's manual settings and capacities. I've learned tons about light and shutter speed and aperture and ISO and still have tons to learn. Someday I'll get a DSLR and will really get to work on this goal)
18. stay on top of my garden (Discontinued. eh.. our garden didn't really give us much to stay on top of, but Blake was primarily in charge of keeping it watered, pruned, picked etc.)
19. go to the gym 3x/week (Unmet. Once a week max.)
20. be content with my job (Partially Met. Well, I have added a job and am content with it. I will be happy to be done with it when I can though. I am certainly more content with the job I wrote this about. It's really not meant to be a full time job, so doing it part time takes away undo pressure and makes it much more pleasant).
21. be a better friend (In-progress. Negotiable. I've made efforts though)
22. call my mom more (In-progress. I've made an effort to try to text/call her more and I feel like we keep in touch better, although still not as much as I think she'd like)
23. blog consistently (Variable progress. Weeeell, I've had my moments.. but lately this has not been the case.)
24. be an effective witness for Christ (In-progress. I have made concerted efforts to be more bold in this and to think about how my actions/words affect my witness.)
25. do all things without complaining or arguing (Fail In-progress. In some areas I've gotten better. On a day-to-day basis, minimal change.)
26. use my time wisely (In-progress. Having less time certainly makes me use what little time I have more wisely, more often.)
27. patiently endure until we are financially ready to _____ (insert long-term goal here). (Patiently... hmm. In-progress.)
28. plan the activities for our trip to Australia (Met)
29. listen to the every sermon/Bible study recorded from our pastor (Unmet. I've been absorbed by audio books and rekindled (no pun intended) my love for reading.)

Thankful

Here's the short list of the things I'm thankful for today:

• Every second of additional daylight we get each day.
• A gorgeous sunset on my way down to Pendleton.
• Spring-like weather in January.
• Realizing that I forgot my purse in Pendleton only ten minutes outside of town, instead of the hour and fifteen minutes it could have been.
• The Almond Roca stash I keep in my desk for nights such as this.
• My sweet husband greeting my huff and grump with a smile and a kiss.
• Much needed but unexpected overload help at work.
• Oregon State laws that make it illegal to pump my own gas.
• Seat warmers in my car.
• Brain candy books read to me from my Kindle while I drive (currently reading Catching Fire, book two of The Hunger Games Trillogy).