What's that sound? Oh, it's just my biological clock ticking.
I thought I'd give you a little update on the journey to motherhood. Not that you asked, and NOT that I'm pregnant (just to clarify again, I said, NOT PREGNANT) but more so to satisfy my need to obsess over it a little more.
I will say that booking a trip that is about eight months from now is helping to ebb the spontaneous urge of forgoing the plan. The trip gives me some motivation and reward for sticking to the plan, since it wouldn't be very fun to be either a) +/- 8 months pregnant on a transcontinental flight (I don't think that you're even supposed to fly by then?), b) pregnant and on vacation in a foreign country (okay I can think of worse things to be doing while pregnant.. but still it doesn't seem like a good idea), or c) cancel a trip with minimal refunds because you are pregnant/giving birth/popping any minute. I'll take option d) stick to the plan and don't get pregnant until August 2013 (or at least not until after November 2012).
I know this sounds so selfish, like oh we want to travel before having kids. And I know that traveling seems contraindicated with financial freedom. However, we really feel that through constant faithful prayer, it just isn't time yet. In addition, we've worked travel into the financial freedom plan and feel that it is worth it.
So here's the obsessive part.
Blake and I talk about baby names at least once a week. Last week he sent me a text of some new names in case we have more than one girl (yikes!) because he was just browsing some names at work (!?). We have a theme to our name picks, but it isn't the same first letter and that's all we're saying. Yes, we are those annoying people that won't reveal our baby name(s) until s/he is born. We will find out the sex, but aren't sure when or how and who we'll tell.
Every time either of us are around a baby - which happens at least once a week at Bible study - we come away with a sigh and a weak resolution to stick to the plan. Sometimes we like to play through the scenario of 'what if' we didn't stick to the plan. What if we just started trying this year, what if we both worked five days a week at our second jobs, what if we... oh, we'll be so much better off if we just stick to that plan.
Speaking of the plan, I can give you the plan timeline in days or months. I seem to review all the alternative dates and possible timelines outside of the plan at least weekly, in case the plan gets tossed out (unlikely.. but you know, just in case). The more I try to work in an earlier ending to the plan (i.e., start trying sooner than the plan dictates), the more I realize why we set the plan up how it is. *sigh* We should just stick to the plan.
We are resolved to stay the course, realizing that it is our plan and praying that if God has other plans.. He'll align our hearts with His and let us know. We may not actually stick to the original plan, but until we are prompted to do otherwise, it is The Plan.
It's interesting how the waiting faithfully is actually helping in many areas of life. Knowing that there is an end to overworking ourselves, helps bring joy to the work. There's a sense of purpose and appreciation for these last years/months of a full-time (paid) career and the chance to use my time wisely. I'm more purposeful in my relationships and take the opportunity to speak words of faith and love to people when I might not have before. I am more purposeful with my work. I take the time to learn from as many opportunities as I can, and have a new desire to go back and really understand some content areas or treatment approaches that I have previously been satisfied with only a rudimentary understanding of until now. I am more purposeful in my household duties. If I think I want to do this full time and add kids to it.. shouldn't I take a little more pride in my system of household management now (or rather shouldn't I develop a system now)?
I'm surprised by how God is using this time. I shouldn't be surprised at all, these days are just as precious as the days that we are looking forward to. I can see that God is using them to prepare us for something in the future, and to make these days count. It never ceases to amaze me what God can do when you set your heart on honoring His. What a great reminder of the blessings that come when you try to surrender your life over and trust Him to replace it.
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The next installment: The Baby Plan: Remix
I probably would never have asked this (since I didn't like sharing when I was in your shoes) so I'm glad you shared because I am interested! :-) First, you guys are too cute with your names :-) I have actually decided I kinda support the not-sharing-the-name thing because it adds a fun element of surprise to the birth :-)
ReplyDeleteI love plans. I also love how I sometimes trash my own and make a new one when I really, really want something so I give you credit for waiting - so hard for something you want!! You guys are doing amazing and making a decision for your family that I doubt you'll regret - financial freedom will benefit you immensely as a family. That being said I doubt you will have any regrets no matter WHAT happens :-)
Oh. And don't beat yourself up too much over not having a housework system. I agree it'd be nice, but having a baby completely threw my 'systems for such a loop it didn't matter too much. :-)
I had a plan too...work for 2-3 years before having a baby. But God had other plans, and he gave us one out of the blue just a year after I started working. Although the transition was hard for me, I wouldn't ever change it. Of course, He knew best. So don't worry too much about it...He has a perfect plan for you and Blake!
ReplyDeleteIt's time, cousin! You will make an amazing mommy. You can take your kids on your trips with you and expose them to the wonders of the world. Plus, my kids need some adorable second cousins. ;-)
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