Pumpkin: Weeks 22 & 23

February 9th - February 22nd

Doing these posts reminds me why I do these posts. Even after two weeks it's kind of hard to remember all these little details.

How I Look
Well, that 'luscious' hair thing might be starting. I've noticed that most of my flyaway hairs seem to be all about the same length, so maybe they're all growing out and fewer hairs are falling out. Time and the shower wall will tell. Oddly enough, hair is not an equal opportunity situation. I'm pretty sure that in some parts of my body it is growing quickly, while on others it seems to be not growing (like my legs... I'm pretty sure I shaved a loooong time ago.. but still they are smooth). Strange. As always, I feel like I look huge and know that next week I'll look back and wonder what I was thinking. I do start to feel like I'm leaving that 'cute pregnant' stage and moving on to the beached whale stage.. but I know I am a few stages ahead in my mind and the rest of the world doesn't seem to agree for some time (not that any person in their right mind would agree with a pregnant woman that she looks like a beached whale, but you know what I mean). Every now and then I notice my hands swell a little bit (my rings get tight), although I generally don't feel too swollen.

How I Feel

Pretty good overall. A few rough patches last week. A seriously annoying and persistent headache with super sensitivity to light that lasted across four days, which made me feel generally achy and uncomfortable. I also had a couple of episodes of really high blood pressure (I am generally low ~90-100/50-60, and these were 140+/80+). I was a little concerned with this all happening together with some nausea but it seems to be a fairly isolated episode and I'm not going to sweat it unless it happens again. My heartburn is getting better with some dietary changes and a different food routine (eating more in the morning and less toward the evening, and really watching what I eat in the evening - high glycemic index foods will get me every time). I still tend to feel so full and stretched to the max by the end of the day, so not adding too much food on top of that is helping.

What I Feel
I should say, what WE feel! Finally, Blake has felt our little Pumpkin girl kick! We were sitting on the couch at my aunt and uncle's house watching a movie the day we turned 23 weeks and the perfect combination happened with patience and alertness on Blake's part and sweet P deciding to have a good work out. It was great to finally be able to share that with him and to see the smile on his face (and now I think he believes me that she's really moving) ;). I'm loving seeing her move from the outside too. She kicks my computer when I rest it on my belly and in the morning I can see the covers move.  I also felt my first (what I believe was) Braxton Hicks contractions. Painless but clearly contracted spots on my belly. I think maybe they've been going on for awhile and I just finally felt/saw one. Now they wont stop! Oh, I've forgotten to mention the heart palpitations. For over a month now I have these funny heart palpitations, feels like my heart is beating out of my chest for a beat here and there. I notice that it increases when she's more active. Honestly, it's really annoying! I've heard some people say that it never goes away after pregnancy... yikes!

What We're Doing
Still reading books and watching what I eat. I've started working out more again, probably motivated by the blood pressure scares ;). We're also trying to get to bed earlier. We aren't to the point of needing to really rearrange and make room for baby things just yet (also we don't have many things yet), but I am scheming about where we'll put what and how to decorate where. I'm also starting to put together my pregnancy photobook. It's been fun to organize those pictures and see them come together in one place with some notes and memories (not so fun to see the typos I've made and have to fix!). Again, it reinforces that I do these posts because without them, I'm not sure I'd be able to remember some of these details! It also reinforces the weekly belly shot. At first I wasn't sure if I would want a weekly picture or if a bi-monthly or monthly shot would do (weekly seemed a bit excessive). In the end (or rather just past the middle) I'm noticing that I like to see the subtle (yet still distinct) changes from week to week. It helps me feel better when I feel huge this week to see that I felt huge last week but look, I wasn't that huge (yes, you'll hear this mantra from me a few more times). And last but not least, we're always praying for our baby girl to be healthy, to stay warm and cozy inside me until she's done developing and that I'd be healthy throughout pregnancy. We're also praying for her life and the choices she'll make and the man she'll marry and all those crazy way-out in the future things that I'm sure will be here before we know it!

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Next baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 24 & 25

Previous baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 20 & 21

Fixated

I'm trying not to use the word 'obsessed' here. An obsession implies an extreme focus on something, usually with some anxiety. I don't have the anxiety piece, just the extreme focus. So instead I've decided I'm easily fixated.

I realized the other day that this time last year, I was obsessed fixated on getting my camera. I spent all of my discretionary time looking up reviews on cameras and lenses and reading photography blogs. It's not to say that photography doesn't take up any of my discretionary time anymore, but rarely is it a fixation (unless I'm in the middle of making a photobook or editing a batch of pictures). I occasionally read a photo blog post or forum, but usually just to answer a specific question.

My latest fixation is cloth diapering, but it changes every few weeks. Not long ago it was carseats and stroller combos, and not long before that it was my weight. Moving on from one obsession fixation to another and back again isn't uncommon. Understandably, I'm fixated on all things baby. Whether it's reading reviews as I work on our baby registry, or reading about natural labor strategies or breastfeeding tips or knitting patterns... my brain is baby focused these days.

I've decided that my brain works in a divide and conquer fashion of acquiring information and a little bit all-or-nothing. I'm either obsessed fixated on the subject and thus it consumes my thoughts until I feel like I have a good handle on the information, or I don't really get into it at all.

I say this to make myself feel better and to keep from feeling like I'm flighty or fickle. It's not that I move from topic to topic because I lose interest (although I have found myself moving on from a topic because I didn't find enough good information), it's because I've established the level of understanding that I decided was necessary for the time being. Sometimes I revisit a fixation because I realize there is more to learn than I originally thought I needed.

Take cloth diapering for example. About a year ago I did the research and chose a brand (if you've ever looked into cloth diapering, you realize what a battle just choosing a brand is). I also looked into systems for washing, which detergent is ideal for us and systems for cloth wipes. After that I was satisfied, until I decided we would try cloth diapering from newborn on (we are going to use a one-size pocket diaper, which doesn't fit until about 10 lbs... I don't plan on having a 10 lb baby). That meant a whole new look at the cloth diapering world and the pros (leakage protection) and cons (cost) of a set of smaller diapers. Most people use disposables until their kids fit into their cloth system.. but I'm feeling up for the challenge after the first week or two (after the 'black tar' has passed). Right now I'm thinking we'll use prefolds and covers (more traditional cloth diapers) but I might get a few newborn pocket diapers too if I can find them used or at a really decent price.

I don't mind that my brain works this way, but it is interesting to analyze it.

I wonder what I'll be obsessing about fixated on this time next year?

Pumpkin: Weeks 20 & 21

January 26th - February 8th
Half way there (give or take a week or two)!

How I Look
I keep forgetting to mention this, I've always heard about the hair and nails that pregnancy hormones and prenatal vitamins give you. Well a few weeks ago I could really see it in my nails but I'm really not experiencing that 'luscious' hair thing. I still shed just as much but of course do have some fun peach fuzz growing on my belly.

How I Feel
Great. After that week or so of being really uncomfortable, things have eased up and I often find myself thinking, this is the part of pregnancy that people remember when they say, "I loved being pregnant." I find myself saying that as well (but in present tense). I feel great, I look pregnant - no question about it, but I'm not huge yet (i.e., I feel 'cute pregnant'), and I have the energy and motivation to get some things done a few times a week.

My one notable complaint symptom: heartburn. It has really kicked into overdrive these weeks, and I just can't get a handle on the things that cause it (seems like everything!?) but I'm starting to eat less in the later part of the day and that seems to help more than Tums, papaya enzymes, cal-mag or sleeping slightly upright. It's the weirdest heartburn I've ever had, very different than my heartburn before this point. Always this pure acid burning sensation right under my UES (upper esophageal sphincter, the muscle that closes off your esophagus from your pharynx/throat). I'll confess, feeling that burning night after night does make me worry a little about esophageal cancer, which motivates me to try to prevent it/get a handle on the burning.

What I Feel
Stretching, kicking, pushing, rolling etc. You name it she does it. I'm fairly certain she's strong enough to feel her from the outside, I could swear I've felt her move with my hand on my belly, but Blake still hasn't felt her. It's hard to time it so that Blake and Pumpkin are awake at the same time and sometimes she'll kick only once or twice in a row. So I'll get Blake's hand on there just as she's done. I'm also still feeling round ligament pain occasionally.

What We're Doing
Thinking of names (remember, we're non-name sharers) and considering not having a middle name (not really, but we're having a hard enough time coming up with first names). I'm reading all kinds of books on natural birth and breastfeeding and reading everything I find on the ins and outs of cloth diapering. Oh, and I think I'm experiencing a little bit of that nesting thing. Thank goodness, I hope it sticks around while I feel pretty good. I'd like to whip these closets into shape!

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Previous baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 18 & 19

Next baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 22 & 23

Bow-ties or Hair-bows!?

Hair-bows and headbands it is! We're having a sweet little girl!

Pumpkin Weeks 18 &19

January 12th - January 25th

What an exciting couple of weeks! The big news is we had our midterm ultrasound and found out all of our sweet little Pumpkin's secrets! There have been a lot of changes since our last look at this little one!

Sweet little baby foot! (she does have two, I promise)

How I Look

How I Feel
Still a little tired but not exhausted. I'm starting to feel those hormones effecting my emotions though - and that's no fun! I'm dealing with some very minor backaches and it takes a little more adjusting to get comfortable on the couch or on car trips. Overall, I can't complain. I feel pretty blessed with a great pregnancy so far!

What I Feel
I feel lots of moving and shaking going on in there! Pumpkin is keeping me entertained throughout the day as I feel all those little movements. It still brings a smile to my face but doesn't tickle as much as it did at first. Still getting stronger, but not strong enough for Blake to feel it yet. As mentioned before, I'm also starting to feel some extra pressure in my ribs! Our ultrasound cleared things up a little and it turns out, it essentially is the baby! Pumpkin likes to lay diagonally which pushes on my organs which jams them into my ribs.

What We're Doing (... and what I'm not doing.)
We have been excitedly sharing Pumpkin's secrets from the ultrasound! We are also really discussing names these days, and we are (I am) still watching my food to make sure I'm getting a good balance of protein, fruit, veggies, whole grains, legumes and peanut butter (it's a food group in itself these days). My favorite snack is peanut butter and banana. I also like peanut butter and apples, peanut butter and jelly and peanut butter in my oatmeal. When I say peanut butter, I actually mean a 50/50 mixture of natural peanut butter (the kind you make yourself in the grinder at the grocery store) and almond butter, it's deliciously sweet, crunchy and salty all at the same time. Mmm. So, ya.. we're eating! Lots of snacks/small meals and aside from fruit not too many sweets. We're also still plugging away at our registries and trying to find some items used when we can. We've bought a few items from craigslist, but nothing major yet.
... and what I'm not doing anymore: no more shopping baskets loaded down, if it's more than a handful of items, I have to get a cart! I'm famous for loading down a basket until it's spilling out... but not any more. I'm also famous for making only one trip. I want to squeeze every single bag onto my arm and get my purse, lunch bag, the mail etc all on the other arm so I don't have to make two trips... well not any more! I found out the hard way that I'm at that point where I have to say no to heavy things and yes to asking for help or taking it slower.

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Next baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 20 & 21

Previous baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 16 & 17

Posture, Pressure and Peas

I'm almost halfway through my pregnancy. Part of me thinks I've been pregnant way longer than only half the time, and the other part of me thinks that this will be over before I know it (and then I have to start worrying about what I look like again - ugh).

Posture: I don't have awesome sitting posture to begin with, but I try (and then five minutes later I have to sit up and try again). So as my belly and baby grow this adds a new challenge to the fight against the hunchback. I feel so much better when I'm standing up, but you can only do that for so long. Some days I try so hard to have better posture that I end up making my back hurt and give myself a headache. I can't win! However, most days, if I do some stretching or prenatal yoga, and watch my posture.. I can make the following 'P' a little better.

Pressure: I am not complaining.. I'm just commenting. And please, please no one tell me to 'just wait because it's going to get worse'. That, my friends, is the mantra running through my head too often as it is. Part of what makes me need better posture is that something (my spleen!? - I don't think it's my stomach and surely it's too early for it to be baby feet) is being pressed up against my bottom left rib. I'm mostly thinking.. isn't it way to early for this!? I'm also thinking (again) oh man.. and this is only going to get worse! Every week I feel HUGE, and every week I look back at the last picture in which I felt huge and realize how I wasn't huge yet at all.. and still am not. However, the heartburn is creeping up and the pressure is building... with more to come.

I'm feeling a different kind of pressure too, the pressure that comes with the reality that soon we'll know this little one's gender, and that means picking a name. There's also the added pressure as I realize more and more how much this little guy or girl will depend on me to have it together, keep it together, or at least look like I'm doing one of the two. I'm excited to see our little kicker soon and be reminded of the joy that comes with all the responsibility.

Peas: One of my goals for the year is to eat more green vegetables and with more of a variety. The little common pea never makes it on my list because truly, it is the only green vegetable that I can think of that I don't really care for. I might have to revisit the pea though, if I'm going to meet this green goal and heaven forbid I pass on my disliking of peas to Pumpkin, just because the poor guy or girl wasn't exposed to them enough (although, if that's the only food he/she doesn't like.. I'd still call that a win).

So really, I had posture and pressure on my mind and saying that made me think of an old standby dinner party recipe (we served it at our wedding actually) for Pasta, Pesto and Peas by Ina Garten. I think I'll make it for dinner tonight with a little chicken added, because it's one of the few ways I can enjoy peas (so far.. I'll work on that). In addition to using whole wheat or multigrain pasta and subbing out some of the mayo, I also like to add a little more spinach to the dish by making the pesto with part spinach, part basil. This recipe already mixes the pesto with spinach, so it's a double whammy. You should try it sometime, it's delicious! I'll warn you though, it makes a lot, I usually half it when it's four or fewer. Tonight I was lazy and used store bought pesto.

A Day At the Fair

It was a hot day in late July, 1995. I was twelve years old. My brothers, Jared and Jordan, and I were hanging out at the Cowlitz County Fairgrounds because my parents had a vendor space for their tractor business.

We spent our days wandering the fair, blowing up balloons and trying to get any free things we could from the commercial building. Some of my older brother's friends from school were there and would stop by to say hi now and then. One of those friends was Blake.

That is how we met. He was a charmer with red hair, a baby face and smile that melted your heart.

I immediately had a crush on him. He came by pretty often and would ask my little brother, Jordan, to go walk around with him (to check out cute chicks). Once, he asked me to come along. I found out later from Jordan that he had asked me to come along because then he wouldn't have to look too far for a cute chick.

Time went on and the next summer Blake would come over with other friends of Jared's for paintball wars in our field. I would watch the guys gear up for their paintball game from an upstairs window. Once I was joined by Jordan who wasn't allowed to play in this particular war. I told him I thought Blake was so cute, his red hair easily seen from far away.
"He never talks to me though," I said with a pout like only a thirteen year old girl can, "doesn't seem to notice I'm there."
"That's because Jared said that he'd beat him up if he ever looked at you again," Jordan told me with a grin.

I remember being so mad that my brother would interfere like that. Who was he to say who could talk to me and who couldn't!? Then I remembered that Jared was usually right about things, and I was the kind of thirteen year old that knew that nothing would really come of a crush anyway. So I let it be. I still made the guys sandwiches and snacks for after their game, and enjoyed the praise that hungry guys gave to anyone that brought them food. I still had a crush on Blake (and honestly, one or more of the other boys too) but nothing could be done about a protective brother. And that was that for many years.

Blake says that after a few years, around the end of high school, he realized that he was bigger than my brother Jared. He realized that he could talk to me now because my brother couldn't beat him up anymore. And so the friendship began... mostly with a lot of teasing by Blake.

The story continues here...

Blogspiration

It's a new year. It should be an exciting year! I'm fairly certain our lives will change forever this year. However, I'm following the trend and reflecting on last year.

In looking back through the year as it relates to my blog (and thinking about where I want to take it this year) I have a few thoughts. I made 77 posts, at least two per month and significantly more in the summer. There are a lot of life event posts and only a few thoughtful posts, with the last half of the year being primarily life event/vacation/baby only.

In starting this blog, or rather in getting serious about it, my primary goal was to journal and capture my thoughts in a more organized, spell-checked and searchable way. Part of journaling is remembering life events, but probably with more of a focus on the emotions and thoughts behind the life events. I still want this to be one of the purposes of my blog.

However, as time goes on, life gets busy and family continues to be far away, I'm okay with an increase in life event posts. Especially now that our family is growing. It's a good way for extended family to keep up with what we're doing when we don't see them every week.

So, in true new year fashion here are some goals for the year, in no particular order:

Have a baby (hey sometimes you need a sure thing on your to do list)

Make time for hobbies. I know that sounds funny, but in having some more personal time throughout the last half of 2012 I realized how hard it is to make time for things that basically only matter to me. Knitting, crocheting, reading, blogging and even photography don't have a place in my weekly routine (neither does cleaning the shower.. but you can't win them all) and therefore they get pushed off to the random Saturday morning when I don't have an agenda. My goal this year is to find a way, even with a new baby, to build these things into my routine. Case in point, it's taken me 12 days to finish this post!

Spiritual depth. I've been doing pretty good with reading my Bible but I'd like to have a little more depth to it and actually study and learn as much as read. Along with this I'd like to be better about spending more purposeful time in prayer. I really want a Spirit-led life and I feel like these things need to be more of a priority.

Eat more green vegetables. And a greater variety than spinach, broccoli and green beans... okay, and the occasional kale. Fruit, no problem.. green vegetables however are harder to work into the daily diet.

And because what's a post without pictures.. here are some favorites from the past year.

January

Blake turned 30!

February

Apparently nothing interesting happened in February.
but here is this pretty sunset picture I took with my cell phone!

March

The first picture. I {finally} got my new camera!

April

Spring Break in Mexico with the Sauras.

Family Easter on Bainbridge Island

May

Home for Mother's Day

 

Memorial Day with the Sauras on Bainbridge

June

Early birthday beach trip with Sauras

I finished my second job in Pendleton

Weekend home to celebrate father's day and
turning 29 (this is also when we decided
to move up our baby plan)

   July

We celebrated my cousins' marriage

We moved!

We made it to the beach with the Beasleys!

We hiked up to Adam's Creek Meadows

August

We celebrated our 3rd anniversary

 We went on our big backpacking trip and found out that the Sauras are expecting!

September

We went camping with cousins for Labor Day weekend

We celebrated my cousin's 30th b-day and my dad's 56th.

 

October

Woo-hoo! We are expecting!

We made it to Rome!

 

November

We toured Israel!

 

December

We enjoyed telling everyone we could that we are expecting!

We had a great Christmas!

Pumpkin: Weeks 16 & 17

December 29th - January 11th

How I Look
I definitely look pregnant. It's funny because by the end of the day, between gravity, digesting food and gas I look and feel HUGE (at least to me). However, in the morning when I wake up, my tummy is flatter and while I still look pregnant if you know it, I also just look (and feel) chubby.

How I Feel
I'm feeling pretty good! Still lightheaded in the mornings, but I'm learning how to manage and minimize that and I'm not as tired as I had been. By the end of the day I feel full and stretched to the max! My pregnancy related symptoms are pretty minimal at this point.

What I Feel
I'm getting to that point where I *could* start feeling the baby moving, but didn't really expect to feel it until later, since this is my first pregnancy. Starting Sunday of week 17 I would lay quietly and see if I could feel anything. I was pretty sure I was feeling tiny little flutters but then on Thursday I was driving and clearly felt this thump inside. SO cool! Every day it is stronger and stronger. We also got to feel the baby at our last midwife appt. After listening to the heartbeat she was palpating my uterus and found the head and bottom and back, and put our hands on my abdomen and explained what we were feeling. That was pretty cool!

What We're Doing
At our last midwife appointment we got the order for our mid-pregnancy ultrasound! It is scheduled for January 24th. It was soooo tempting to schedule it a little sooner, but I really don't want to feel like we need to question the results, so we're forcing ourselves to wait until the end of week 19. We're SO excited to find out how our little guy or girl is doing... and of course if it's a little guy or girl!

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Next baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 18 & 19

Previous baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 14 &15

Announced!

It's official. The whole world knows that we are having a baby.

First off, and most importantly, I'm feeling so encouraged and loved by all the discussions, thoughts and comments that we've had with people as we've told them. I don't want to be mom-zilla and think that this is the first baby ever born ;) but it is nice that people have been so indulgent in sharing our excitement and obsession about our first baby. 

Secondly, and pardon the pun, I already feel bad for our second baby (I know.. getting a little ahead of myself here) because I'm fairly certain that much less fuss will be had in announcing his or her arrival. 

I'll try not to let Pumpkin hijack my blog... but no promises. He or she has pretty much hijacked my brain ;). If I manage to post about other things, you can always find the baby related posts under the label "First Pregnancy" or by clicking the page link titled "Our {First} Baby Story". 

And lastly, for the photography nerds.. this was the first picture of 32.. of course I used the first one I took. I think the light was best at this point though, and then it started getting darker. I'm sure we all know how much I over-thought how to announce this on FB... I'm just glad it's done and out there. Now I can move on to over-thinking other things (please, like we don't all know that I already have) ;).