Day 20: Personal Entry: Garden Update

I'm mostly sad to say that garden season is officially over. This weekend we tore out the garden. Even though there were still some tomatoes growing and a few other straggling plants. It has been getting really cold at night and whatever produce was growing wouldn't have lasted long.

All in all, it was a good year. We had an amazing crop of tomatoes, mostly Roma, and mostly on the small grape/cherry size side but we still were able to can a ton of tomatoes and tomato products (4 gallons of tomato soup, 5 gallons of stewed/diced/whole tomatoes and 12 pints of salsa). Our green beans were a bust - they were really woody - and our peas were abysmal. I think we got about 10 peas off before the weeds choked out the pea plants, which was only 3 out of the 12 we planted. The watermelons just didn't get big or ripen and the honeydew died right away. The cantaloupe, however, did pretty well and we all enjoyed a few of them. Everything else grew just enough for us to use them and enjoy them but not be overwhelmed by them (like the zucchini and summer squash last year). Our pride and joy was the kale and collard greens, which we're actually letting grow a little longer for our green juices.

It's a little bittersweet because we know that we'll be moving out of this house next year and won't be able to plant a garden again here. It's also bittersweet because, even though our neighbors didn't use the garden as much as they had hoped.. and maybe didn't weed as much as they'd hoped, it's sad knowing we won't get to share a garden with them again.

This garden was our biggest and yet still our most reasonable as far as produce went. It is also where we spent a lot of time on our weekends before Emerson was born.. including the morning before her arrival!

So we spent yesterday with the neighbors ripping out the plants we tenderly planted and cursing the weeds one last time. The kids brought some of their chickens over to help with clean up (they didn't) and were supposed to be picking up any left over produce to put in the chicken food pile. One of their girls kept getting distracted by every pretty thing and was always adding things to her pile for making bouquets. I loved how much she romanticized every plant.

After we finished, they invited us over for dinner and we got to see her handy work. I think she has a knack for arranging bouquets don't you?

Their table. Notice the Kale, rosemary and in the bouquet on the right, those are either weeds or veggies :)

I love this one. She did incorporate some of our roses too, but notice the
onion in the back and the kale.. there are a few weeds in there too :)

And how sweet is this!? This is what they left as a surprise
for their mom on her nightstand. 

A sweet ending to a sweet garden year!

Day 19: Places I've Lived

Also, an account of how many times I've moved

1. Yacolt, Wa. I lived in the house that my parents built until I was 11. In fact, my mom went into labor when my dad was doing the insulation.
2. Pine Haven, Wy. We moved for about four months when I was in 4th grade.
3. Yacolt, Wa. Back to our house for the rest of 4th grade and most of 5th grade.
4. Longview, Wa. My family moved to a rental house in Longview while we built our new house.
5. Buhl, Idaho. I went to live with my aunt, uncle and cousins in Idaho for the rest of 5th grade and some of summer.
6. Rose Valley (Kelso), Wa. We moved into our new house.
7. Bellingham, Wa. I moved into the Alpha dorm at Western Washington University.
8. Kelso, Wa. Back home for the summer.
9. Bellingham, Wa. Back to Alpha dorm for my second year of college.
10. Kelso, Wa. Back home for the summer
11. Bellingham, Wa. My third and final year I lived in a house called The Mansion, with 9 or 10 other women.
12. Oakesdale, Wa. I moved in with a girl from The Mansion. Her family had a wheat farm and I was planning on going to school in Spokane after my year off.
13. Spokane Valley, Wa. I moved in with a girl from work towards the end of my year off and through part of my first (summer) semester of grad school.
14. Spokane, Wa. I lived in an apartment on the South Hill. Ironically, I found my roommate online and she was the best roommate I've ever had. She was going to grad school on my same campus and getting her degree in physical therapy.
15. Bainbridge Island, Wa. I did my internships in Bainbridge (schools) and Silverdale/Bremerton (hospital). I lived with my gracious aunt and uncle through my internships and until the end of the summer.
16. Mercer Island, Wa. My first apartment. Oh how I loved that place.
17. Kelso, Wa. I moved home for the month before our wedding.
18. Kennewick, Wa. Our first home together, I moved in after our honeymoon. It was the perfect first home/apartment to start our marriage in.
19. Richland, Wa. Our current location. What a blessing it has been! I can't wait to see what God has in store for us next.

And there you have it. Oohh the places I've been!

Day 18: Addictions

Lately I find myself 'addicted' to a few things:

1. Dark Chocolate with A Touch of Sea Salt by Lindt. There's a store in town that sells it for fifty cents less than other stores, but it's pretty far across town. So I allow myself to get five bars and that has to last until the next time I'm over there. Today another grocery store had them on sale for eighty-three cents cheaper and that meant I could get six for the usual price of five... but alas that store is also far away and I couldn't come up with a good excuse to get over there.
   
2. Sparkling water, as mentioned in a previous post, I'm so in love with Orange LaCroix sparkling water, specifically. Which is kind of unfortunate because I haven't found a store that regularly stocks it. I only found it on special once when a store brought in more than usual and made an end of the isle display. I also like lemon, which is readily available, so I try to space the oranges out. Next time I am low I'm going to try peach-pear and maybe coconut!
   
3. My daughter's cheeks! I can't get enough of those squishy little pillows of sweetness!
   
4. Julie's Frozen Yogurt bars. They are organic, 120 calories and actually healthier than most fruit flavored yogurt (which, to be fair I don't usually eat. I'm a 50/50 vanilla/plain girl) when you consider grams of sugar. Costco used to sell them and Blake and I were both addicted to them. To be honest, I considered it a meal when I first had Emerson.. it was easy to eat and well, it was something in my stomach on days when it was hard to find time or energy to fix or eat anything. Now we have to pay standard retail so we only get them when they're on sale.
   
5. Raw milk. I know {gasp}, the horror. It's so controversial but all I can say is I can drink it and I feel better when I do. I used to be varying degrees of lactose intolerant, but with raw milk, it's so full of probiotics that it helps me digest it, and most of the other things I eat. Which results in a happier GI tract in general. There's a grocery store here that sells it from a licensed local farm. You can only get it in 'whole' and the amount of cream at top varies, but again, it's worth it. Mmm.
   
6. Big girl baths. I know it wastes a lot of water but I LOVE taking a big girl bath with Emerson. It's so fun to soak in the tub and watch her splash and smile. Before having her I could count on one hand the number of baths I'd taken since ... I was a kid I suppose. I usually start out with a little hot water and epsom salts and soak for a bit without her touching the water, then I dilute that with water that is more her temp and hopefully the epsom salts are diluted enough for her too. I've always wondered if it would be bad or good for her to soak in salts too but I'm not willing to try without finding out first. Ahh just thinking about it makes me want to take a bath tomorrow! I generally limit it to one per week, and usually save it for after our Wednesday morning hike. 

Day 17: Personal Entry - Cloth Diapers

I have loved our cloth diapers so far! While the new has worn off and I'm not super excited to change or wash a diaper (anymore) - I still love it! For me, it's about health, saving money and feeling good about what we aren't contributing to the landfill.

Newborn Cloth
I am really glad we did AIOs (all-in-ones) for the 'newborn' size (I say 'newborn' because they lasted us 4 months and over 16 lbs). They are super easy and brainless. I think that their being so easy helped Blake embrace them quickly and really he changes a majority of the diapers when he's home at night. The AIOs do take longer to dry though, and that has been their only drawback.

Most people don't do newborn cloth, they just wait until their babe is ~10 lbs and fits into the one size pocket diapers. I, however, am a diaper nerd and I have a goal of never using a disposable. I want to make it clear that I mean no judgement on those that do... I'm just a nerd and I like to be all-or-nothing and make life more difficult. Some people just use up the diapers that come from the hospital (not an option for us) and then switch to cloth for fear that the 'black tar' meconium will stain their new cloth diapers. I'm here to tell you it washes out better than EBF poo (which does stain, but those stains come out with 30 mins in the sun - no problem). It drives me crazy how perpetuated the myth of staining meconium is (my midwife warned us of it, my LaLeche League book warned against it and its elsewhere)!

I was planning on following the disposables-until-over-10-lbs route until one day I was driving home from a baby shower and had been given several packs of disposables and they had sat in my car on that HOT May day. My pregnancy nose couldn't handle the smell of hot disposable diapers! I had also been reading about some of the additives to diapers and those two things on top of my hormones made me vow right then and there to be committed to cloth all the way through. Now it's a challenge for me, to see if I can make it all the way through with at least one kid, never using a disposable. Again, no judgement, it's just what is right for us right now. LOTS of people do a little of both and have different motives for doing cloth and that is all okay! Fortunately, I was able to return all of the disposables and got gift cards instead!

Newborn Stash
We had 24 newborn AIO diapers (similar to this style), 14 of which had a custom pocket in them to add absorbency as needed - which we did with a preemie prefold and that is probably why we made it to 4 months. That and we used bigger pocket diapers at nighttime once she started sleeping so long, probably at about 2 months. We didn't always stuff her custom newborn diapers with a prefold, but it was great to have that option for when we were going out to run errands or anytime that we couldn't be right on a diaper change. We also had about 10 newborn covers of various brands and 12 small prefolds, which we found to be too bulky for our liking, and we had two fitteds and two hemp inserts (for use with covers).

If I had it to do over again, I'd have gotten more fitteds. They are awesome and for us, the best way to use a cover. I'd also have skipped the small prefolds. I'm not sure I'd even use them now unless I was very desperate. But I might use them when she's older/bigger, like after one. I'll definitely use them when we potty train because they make you feel the wetness more than other insert fibers.

I'd also be more careful about washing every 2-2.5 days. I might even say I wish we had fewer diapers because then I'd be forced to wash more. As it was, we didn't need to wash until the end of the third day. During our last week of using the newborn diapers they developed a stink that I still haven't gotten out of them. I think it's because some of them were left unwashed too long. They don't smell out of the dryer, but do smell as soon as they are wet. I've tried all the usual solutions to no avail (and it's only certain ones, which is weird). Next, I'll try soaking in a bleach/dawn solution overnight and if that doesn't work I'll have to do some serious Googling. I want to figure it out before I literally can't snap them on her, so that I can test it and see if it worked. Otherwise I might go to put them on my next newborn and find stinky diapers.. that would be horrible! If worst come to worst, I might have to pitch the stinky ones, but really, we more than got our money's worth out of them and then I'd have the fun on buying a few more :)!
Update: An overnight soak with 1/4 cup of bleach did the trick!

The Next Stash
We have 18 BumGenius 4.0s (BGs) and 9 other one size (OS) pocket diapers of various brands because I couldn't resist trying them. Most of the other brands have a tri-snap configuration with a bottom hip snap, and I do like that, however, they (so far - I don't expect them to hold up long term as well) haven't functioned any differently than the BGs. We also have 7 OS covers, 2 small/medium Thirsties covers, 4 cotton inserts, 6 bamboo/cotton inserts, 2 hemp inserts (but we still use the smaller hemp inserts so really it's 4), 12 Osocozy Indian cotton small prefolds and 12 Osocozy Indian cotton flats.

I love the BGs, they fit her great and have a nice feel to them. The switch to pockets has been so nice in that we have much shorter drying times! I also like most of the other brands we tried with my second favorite being Charlie Banana (CBs). They are totally different in how they change sizes and I like it. I'm not sure I could convert my stash 100% to CBs, but I do like having some. They are a tiny bit bulkier, so we usually keep their use to nighttime.

If I had it to do over again, I would have gotten more white diapers. Most of our newborn diapers were white or off white and I really liked having a neutral diaper so it didn't clash with outfits or show through. However, my husband can attest to the fact that I like white in anything, so I'm bent that way anyway. Plus it's gender neutral! We have (I think) 4 white BGs and a two off-white BGs. I know most people get into cloth diapering so that they can have fun patterns and colors, but I'm just a purist ;).

Since switching to the OS diapers, I've only used the pocket diapers and the two Thirsties covers. I just haven't had the need to use covers and prefolds/flats yet and the fitteds are a little big still. I think we probably have too many OS diapers too, but so far I'm sticking to an every 2 day washing routine.

Wash Routine
Speaking of wash routine! We do a cold or warm pre-rinse, hot wash with 1 TBS of Rockin Green Soft Rock detergent (which I use for warranty sake) and two cold rinses. I follow the recommendations for BGs, since they have the warranty. We do get stains, but like I said, the sun gets them right out. With the newborn diapers I also added a tablespoon or less of oxyclean on occasion, since there's no warranty to void. I had to strip them three times, twice because of stunk/funk and once because we dried them in a drier that had lots of dryer sheet build up - repelled like crazy!).

Cloth Wipes
We also use cloth wipes. I did one time have to use a disposable wipe because I ran out of cloth, and I've used a wet paper towel a few times too. I'm not as die hard about the wipes, but will try not to use disposable wipes for health, cost and sanity reasons. Sanity - it is total habit for me to roll the wipe up in the diaper before tossing it in the bag. I would lose my mind if I had to throw away the wipes separately and/or sort through the dirty dipes before washing to make sure no disposable wipes were in there!

I have some cottonbabies wipes, some Osocozy wipes and lots of baby washcloths that we use as wipes. Honestly, I like them all for different reasons and if I had to convert my supply to just one I'm not sure I could pick. I like having a variety as I go through the day.

We started with dry wipes and a spray bottle of Eco Bum bottom spray (which we mostly bought for the bottle - to refill). About two weeks after she was born we bought a wipe warmer so we could more feasibly keep our wipes wet, since we found that wet wipes just do the job better and faster, and we were always running into the bathroom and running the water to get it warm so we could we the wipes. In the diaper bag we use dry wipes and spray and it works well enough for outings. I'm afraid if we put wet wipes in the diaper bag, we wouldn't use them up fast enough and they might get stinky. Dry wipes and spray works okay, it's just more time consuming.

I really love our wipes warmer and our wipes solution. I started with some more complicated wipes solutions and have landed on the basic coconut oil (1/2 c), castile soap (1 T) and distilled water (2 c) solution and haven't looked back. I really love it. It's the perfect blend of moisturizing and cleansing. The distilled water helps to keep the wipes from getting any funky smell. This is the warmer we use. The little light on it is great for discrete diaper changes on the rare occasion that we need to do one at night. It's not too bright but bright enough to see what you're doing. I also like that it has a pop-up dispenser lid and it seems to keep them warm but not so warm that it dries them out.

Accessories
We use a basic kitchen trash can with a lid and have two pail liners from Planet Wise. They work great together and it keeps the stink in very well. We have three medium wet bags and two small. We use coconut oil as a 'diaper cream' and put it on a few times a day as a barrier and as prevention. We also have a diaper sprayer and bamboo liners, but we won't use those until we introduce solid foods.

I keep stuffed diapers in two baskets at the changing table, which we generally use (since the wipes warmer is there). One basket for daytime diapers and one for nighttime diapers, which are just stuffed with two inserts.

And there you have it! Who knew I would have so much to say about diapers, huh!? :)

Day 16: Personal Entry - Four Months

Someone said to me recently that, "God is indeed so good to us, in our humanity, to let us enjoy and experience a baby, which seems like a little piece of heaven."

I loved that. A little piece of heaven. It's so true.

Four months already! She is growing so fast. I find myself trying hard to keep up with all her new skills and habits that I find myself thinking back a few weeks and realizing that she hasn't done such-and-such in weeks... she's out grown it! Like her sweet coos and goos.. they are rare now that she can raspberry and squeal.

She is also getting much more coordinated in her fine motor skills and can grab her toys when they are in front of her. She is also much more tolerant of tummy time but still hasn't rolled over. She tries, but can't quite get that arm tucked. I'll confess, I don't give her as much floor time as I probably should..I'm a baby holder and I enjoy having her with me or on me. Her gross motor muscles continue to stronger, she can stand with our help for a good amount of time (and really enjoys it) and can sit up without much support for balance (but still needs some help, she's still pretty tippy if you just try to sit her on the floor or something.. which is to be expected at her age).

We finally captured the pouty lip! She really doesn't cry all that often, so it's hard to catch. She did go through a phase recently where she cried when other people held her. It was hard to pinpoint why since sometimes she knew them and sometimes she didn't. I think it had to do with how suddenly they took her from me and if she was getting hungry or tired. She seems to be mostly over it though, or we're just more cautious. In the video below, she had woken up upset and after confirming that nothing was really wrong with her we took advantage of the moment to capture her cute little cry (it isn't great quality, but you get the idea).

She's going to hate me for this someday.. but here's another clip of her just after she woke up one morning at my parent's house. She used to just pout her lips out when she ahem was working on something. Then she started sticking her tongue out like this, just when she did her business, but then she thought it was good fun and did it non-stop for a few days. Now she's got her tongue back in though and she's just doing raspberries and bubbles.

At four months she is 16.5 pounds and 25.5 inches long. She wears clothes sized anywhere from 3-6 months to 9 months, depending on the brand (some Carters has labeled 9 month clothes as 16.5 lbs -20 lbs)! Although we can still (barely) snap her newborn diapers, we are putting them away. Four months is three months longer than we expected to use them and they have paid for themselves three times over. Although I'll miss the convenience of all-in-ones, it's nice to graduate to more absorbency and room.

Along with newborn diapers, we have said goodbye to most 3 month clothes (which were summery anyway, so good timing there) and she's outgrown a few pairs of shoes. We've also said good bye to the startle reflex (for the most part) and thus the 'praise Jesus' and other amusing hand gestures.

I know this post is getting video dense, but I took this one today and had to share it too. She LOVES the mirror. There is always a cute baby smiling back at her and she loves to talk to her.

Our social butterfly will smile at just about anyone. Tonight I took her to a OBCW class and carried her in sleeping. When she woke up and looked around to see all those faces, you'd think she had died and gone to heaven. Everywhere she looked there was another face to smile at and she was so ticked pink (literally) to see so many faces. Melts my heart :).

And now... for the barrage of pictures.

Hopefully this isn't crossing a line. I just had to capture those leg ROLLS!
I already get comments about how I need to put some clothes on her
because in her 1 month pictures I only had her in a diaper. ;)

This is her favorite 'I'm getting tired/hungry' pose with the headband removal

The THUMB!
Actually, she's not really committed to the thumb, she switches it up
enough that I'm not as worried about it.

Like sometimes it's the fingers, and sometimes the fist, and sometimes as much of her hand as she can fit.

Baby feet!

This was an accident, but I should probably do this more often (on purpose) to cut back on the pictures

Photog in training (in the mirror)

She LOVES standing up!

There's that cute baby again.

One of our favorite outfits that we'll probably be outgrowing soon

Another favorite

What are those awesome round things? I must try to eat them!

Meeting Mr. Doodle, my parents' pretty rooster

Out for a walk

Telling a great story

There's that cute baby again! She loves her tummy time mirror :)

Picking apples.. she was a big help ;)

Day 15: A Photo of Someone You Fancy

Well this is easy!

I don't actually have any recent pictures of Blake without Emerson.. but you get the idea. He's so great with her and of course so great in general :). I love him to the moon and back.

He got her dressed in a new outfit :) 

I think this was a Saturday morning. He'd been watching tv waiting for his girls to wake up.
He was also growing his beard out and you might think we have gone Amish.. but no,
it's just one of those beard month things.

Day 14: Screenshot of Your Desktop

Day 13: Personal Entry - Open Hands

The other day, I heard someone use the phrase, 'I love with open hands' and it has stuck with me. I can't remember where I heard it or the context it was used in but it made me think of how I want to love my kid(s).

So much of me wants to hold on tight with white knuckles and keep her safe from every possible germ, danger and difficult challenge. But of course, if I did this she'd never learn and grow and experience what she needs in order to be a fully functioning adult.

Beyond the need to let go in order for her to grow, there is my need to let go in order to trust God. Our Father of good gifts loves our precious babes more than we do. They are really His. We are blessed with the time we have with them and blessed with the challenge to raise them. But they are still His.

When I was pregnant and praying for our sweet girl, I prayed that God would keep my heart in check on this. I knew that once I saw her little face, it would be harder and harder to trust the Lord with the timing of her life. And it has been true. The longer I know and love Emerson, the harder it is to think that if something were to happen to her, I still need to trust that the Lord is greater. His plan is greater and His will is greater. And that He is good.

Moments before Emerson was born and it was clear that she needed to be born a minute ago, I began praying that God's will would be done. I trusted Him. After she was out and during that long minute while we waited for her to take a breath, I still prayed that God's will would be done. I've said before that in my heart there was peace and not fear. In my head, however, I was thinking that surely God wouldn't bring us through 40 weeks of pregnancy only to lose her before she started breathing. Surely God wouldn't ask that of us. Yet, I knew full well that we weren't exempt from heartache or pain. God might have asked that of us and we would struggle through accepting His good and perfect will, even if it included the unbearable. Somehow he would use it for His good. Somehow we would endure. Somehow we would be better for it. And I had peace in that. Thankfully, His will was the beautiful life we are enjoying today.

I remember having similar thoughts as I waited for the weeks to pass until we were out of the miscarriage risk window. Maybe this seems morbid, or maybe it seems pessimistic but I just wanted to go into this journey with the reality in mind that our kids are not our own possessions, but a gift from God. A treasure to protect with our lives and then some.

Again, the longer I love our baby girl the harder it is to remember that she is not solely ours, nor is it our sole responsibility to keep her safe. This is a partnership with our Creator and it is only through a trusting relationship with Him that we can really do our best for her. It makes my insides flip-flop to think of something happening to her. It makes my heart drop to my toes when I think about trusting the Lord like Abraham did with Issac. Or when I think of the tragedies in history that involved children, like the gas showers in the Nazi death camps or the third class passengers in the Titanic. How did those mothers (and fathers) endure that torture. These thoughts make me curl my toes and begin plans for a safety bubble. But of course there is no bubble big enough. We can't really do anything, except turn it over to the Lord and trust His perfect will. Prayerfully lifting our child(ren) up to Him, petitioning Him for wisdom, safety, protection, and the faith to trust Him through whatever life brings us.

Open hands. Trusting heart.

Day 12: Three Confessions

I confess that I'm still justifying the daily occasional indulgence because I'm nursing. Be it ice cream, an extra slab of butter or a second helping of lasagna... it's for the baby. I told myself this had to stop after six weeks. And then again at two months. And then again at three months. Now she's almost four months and here I am with 5-8 fluctuating pregnancy pounds on my hips and there's no excuse. I didn't just have a baby so it's okay to be chubby still...that was four months ago. Now where's the butter for this popcorn? I'm eating for two after all.

I confess that I sleep in. Man do I sleep in. For awhile I was really good about getting up with Blake and getting things done but lately I'm a ridiculous night owl and fortunately my girl sleeps late... and so do I. I know I kind of confessed this before, but it bears repeating. I have slept until almost noon the last three days and once until almost three. Unless I have a good reason to get up before her, I basically don't. Every week I resolve to stop this and of course this week is no different, yet again I'm up late and I already know that in the morning I'll have completely forgotten that sentiment.

I confess that I once sucked a booger out of EJ's nose with my mouth. I'm here to tell you that it was GROSS. However, the thing was HUGE and surely going to block her airway if it went down instead of out. She could hardly breathe to nurse! I had to do it. Our nose sucker thing stinks and I keep meaning to search for a better one, but obviously I haven't yet. Also it was really far away. I'd be pretty hard pressed to do this again (really, it was pretty gross), but I will say I don't regret it. It was a monster booger.

Day 11: Favorite Quote

One of my favorite quotes is the one on the right by E.E. Cummings. I also love pretty much any quote from C.S. Lewis. Here are a few of my favorites: