If you are reading this, that means that I've announced that we are expecting and I've posted all of my secret posts about this process (see a list of baby posts
here).
We had a baby plan. We initiated the baby plan because we were ready to have kids, but really felt strongly about getting out of debt first. We also felt pretty strongly about starting our family when I turned 30, regardless of our financial situation. So the baby plan was developed around those two milestones.
The Original Baby Plan was this:
Get out of by debt ~ May/June 2013
Start trying to get pregnant: August 1, 2013
Continue working until delivery-ish and save my income for a house ~ May/June 2014
Turn 31, hopefully with a delivered, full-term baby in my arms by now: June 21, 2014
Then one day, near my 29th birthday. Actually, it was the weekend before my birthday and we were driving home to see our families for Father's Day. We were having a discussion about money and how close we are to getting out of debt and how we'll ever feel like we have enough money when I quit working to stay home with kids.
I just had this nagging feeling about putting off pregnancy for almost a year after we would be out of debt...
just for money. Would extra money be super helpful when buying a house? Yes. Would extra money be helpful when starting a family? Yes. Would extra money be helpful in any situation? Yes. Would extra money ever really be enough extra money? No.
I just felt like we were selling out our potential kid for a few more months of income, for a few more months of security. However, this isn't new. I've always felt like this. We are ready to have a baby
now. We also still feel really strongly about getting out of debt first. I can completely feel good about getting out of debt before having a little one. I just couldn't feel good about putting off that little one,
just for extra money. I know it made great sense. I know it would be completely responsible. And those things eased my mind for most of this time.
So we were driving, and talking. Having the same conversation we've had a million times, re-convincing ourselves to stick to our plan and make the responsible decision. Yet, we just couldn't convince ourselves anymore.
I think that for Blake, it was just the fact that we both agree, how could we put off our child, for some extra money. It probably has to do with seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and getting much closer to being debt free that he can see us making it without the extra money.
For me though, there was more to it. I was turning 29, and I was feeling 39. I'd just finished a ten month streak of working two jobs and driving over 400 miles each week. I was exhausted and feeling like I wasn't getting any younger. On top of that, I'd just gotten some potentially bad medical news and was really feeling time slip away. I might have a autoimmune disorder that will mean progressive issues with 'joints, skin, kidneys, brain and other organs'. This is a story for another post. I don't have any more information that this: I might, I might not. It's too early to tell but I had some blood work indicators that mean I need to be rechecked again in a year. I truly won't know anything more until then, but I do know that I trust in the Lord and lean on His understanding.
Back to they baby plan. It all just made sense. I wasn't getting any younger, and might possibly have more and more issues as I got older. We were still going to get out of debt within the next school year. Millions of people have babies and make less money than we do. We trust that God meant what he said in Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? "Therefore do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?' or "What shall we drink?' or "What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
So we decided. Right then and there on Highway 84 between The Dalles and Hood River. We were going to have a new baby plan. It was my secret birthday present. We also agreed to pray and pray and pray for God's wisdom about this new plan.
There is more to this lengthy story. We've been very public about our baby plan. We did so, mostly to help ourselves count down to the event, and also to keep people off our backs from wondering when we were going to have kids. There was a drawback to the publicity of our baby plan though.. the public part. It wasn't something that we shared between the two of us, practically everyone knew our timeline, and friends and family like to joke around and ask for monthly countdown updates. It wouldn't be much of a surprise to announce our pregnancy and certainly would make it harder to keep it a secret until we were ready to announce it, since everyone would be expecting it. We realized too late that this major decision should have been kept a little more between us. It was fun to joke with everyone about how 'strict' our plan was and I think people got a kick out of the fact that we counted down so far ahead. In the end though, I'm so glad we revised the plan and have the privacy of it. We still follow our public baby plan when people ask for the current monthly countdown (which feels a little deceitful, but I'm justifying it). I can't wait to see the surprise when the 'intense planners' announce their pregnancy almost eight months before they were going to start trying!
The new and improved baby plan, aka: Baby Plan -
Remix
Change contraception methods: July, 2012
Start tracking my cycle, including charting my daily basil body temps ~ July-September, 2012
Start trying: September or October, 2012!
Get out of Debt May/June: 2013
Have a baby June 2013
Turn 30 June 2013
{Warning. Possible over-sharing here.. as if I haven't already crossed that boundary} Ultimately, since my cycles turned out to be longer, thus making my expected due dates different than if I had a 28 day cycle, we could start trying to get pregnant in September and still *likely* (if all goes according to plan) have a baby after school gets out in June. If my cycles were shorter it would have caused my due date to be before school was out and that would be pushing it a little, since it's not like babies really come on their due dates.
So there you have it! I can not express to you how excited we are, and how ready we feel (you know, as ready as you can feel for an unknown life changing event). It has been so special and intimate to keep it between the two of us, and to know that we'll be able to keep our pregnancy (when it happens) between the two of us a little easier and longer, since people won't be expecting it.
After some time praying, this new baby plan just feels right.
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Next baby post:
TTC