Showing posts with label retropost. Show all posts
Showing posts with label retropost. Show all posts

Friday, February 7, 2014

First Snow

As a parent, you get to have to make all kinds of decisions. Some are big, some are small but in the end it just comes down to the two of you pretty often. Well this was a small decision but we are making the decision and calling this Emerson's first snow. ;) Sure there has been snow flakes in the air before and even a few on the ground. We've also seen it in the pass... but this was the first time it really snowed hard and covered anything.

It was the first time we all stayed inside and enjoyed the soft, sweet quiet of a family snow day weekend. Well, we stayed inside except for a quick little trip outside to see what this white stuff was all about. Spoiler alert: someone wasn't that impressed.


What is that stuff?


She grabbed my finger and wanted to try it.. this was her opinion of it.

No more tasting, just tentative touching.



Friday, December 28, 2012

Pumpkin: Weeks 14 &15

December 15th - December 28st


How I Look
I guess I'm looking pregnant! Twice now people have come up to me and asked when I'm due or exclaimed "you're pregnant!" This surprises me because I didn't expect to 'look pregnant' until later (I'm pretty sure this is helped out by a little well-placed pre-pregnancy fluff that is getting pushed out still). I'm also finally including a 'bump picture' because I guess it's looking like a bump now!



How I Feel
Tired! I thought exhaustion was a first trimester thing, but that's how I've been feeling lately. Always tired. On top of that I'm usually pretty lightheaded in the morning and have really low blood pressure. It generally passes by about noon and then I can move around a little more. Overall, I'm feeling good just lacking energy, especially in the morning.

What I Feel
It's still early to feel the baby move so the only thing I feel lately is round ligament pain from time to time.

What We're Doing
We're working on our baby registry here and there and doing lots of research on car seats, strollers, swings and all those other baby items we'll eventually need. We also got a fetal Doppler and are enjoying listening to the heartbeat and movements whenever we want!

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Next baby post: Announced! or Pumpkin: Weeks 16 & 17
Previous baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 12 & 13

Friday, December 14, 2012

Pumpkin: Weeks 12 & 13

December 1st - December 14th

Second Trimester!

This has been an exciting two weeks. We've been telling more and more people and still have a few more to tell. This telling people business is a little agonizing actually... mostly because I make it that way, I'm sure. I'm always worrying about who will be offended if they find out in which order and in which way. There are a few people left that I'd like to have told sooner, but would also like to tell in person. So which would have hurt their feelings more, telling them in a text since a phone call hasn't worked out, or telling them later but in person... and will I ever know either way? *sigh* I'm relieved though that soon it will be out there and all this will be a thing of the past. I have bigger (and growing) things to think about!

How I Look
My belly chub is getting a little more rounded. I felt like at the beginning of week 12 I popped out a little bit. Not in a way that anyone else would notice, but to Blake and I with and unobstructed view, you can tell there's something going on below my belly button. I still don't really look pregnant, which is not a surprise for this stage and first pregnancy. However, it helps me to know that things are changing and even thought I feel a little more fat than anything else, I also appreciate that I can still wear most of my tops and (with some modifications) most of my pants. I'm just savoring these last few weeks of looking 'normal' before I start to enjoy looking pregnant :). Oddly enough, I lost two pounds in my first trimester, and I'm not sure why. However, it seems like a good way to face the weight gain expected in the next six - seven months!

12 Weeks, posing for our Christmas card picture

How I Feel
Still pretty good overall. Oddly enough I've been a little more tired these weeks, but I'm contributing that to holiday busyness and too many late nights in a row. A friend loaned me a full body pregnancy pillow which has been amazing. I didn't think I'd need it really for awhile, but tried it out anyway and have been getting much better sleep since then. My joints feel better, I don't wake up as much at night when I move around and I wake up with fewer headaches in the morning.

What I Feel
Still nothing aside from the occasional and quick 'round ligament' pain.

What We're Doing
We met with our midwife at the end of week 13. I had been anxiously looking forward to this appointment. Anxious, in part, because I didn't know what to expect, but mostly because I really want to hear a heartbeat and I know that isn't a guarantee at this stage. Well, I'm happy to say that we heard it! Our sweet little Pumpkin was really hard to find and our wonderful midwife was patiently persistent in finding him or her until we got a read. Hearing it put a big smile on our faces. It was also fun to hear Pumpkin move around as she tried to find him/her. Now we're reading through the packet of information she gave us about what to expect through the months, and all those tests etc that we have the option of doing (which we aren't). I'm still just trying to eat healthy during this time of sweets and trying to get some exercise... however, I must confess I'm not nearly as good about that as I was in the previous 11 weeks.

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Next baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 14 & 15

Previous baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 10 & 11

Friday, November 30, 2012

Pumpkin: Weeks 10 & 11


November 17 - November 30th

Our big milestone for these weeks is that we started telling people. Over the weekend of Thanksgiving we told our parents and in the following week some extended family and some very close friends. We're still being cautious and not telling the whole world yet. Every time we tell someone I get really nervous and jittery. I think that I get nervous because part of me feels like I'm leading them on since I don't really feel pregnant yet.. but I am! It's funny that this is really true, we actually have a baby developing in my womb (I prefer uterus.. but some people hate that word). It is like people say, a little surreal. Blake is all about telling people, probably because he can't see or feel it either way, he just has the fact that 'we are' and trusts that more. And he's a guy and doesn't over-think things like I do (I'm sure I can blame that on hormones, right?).

How I Look
Boated and chubby if I'm honest! I'm really happy to say that I still haven't gained any weight and maybe my middle has grown by half an inch (it's hard to tell thanks to the bloating). I measure and weigh in the morning, but some mornings are more complimentary than others ;). I *might* start taking pictures soon.

How I Feel
Well, aside from the bloating and the random bit of nausea in response to some funky smells, I'm feeling great! Still the very occasional sharp pain here or there, but that's pretty rare. My emotions are seeming pretty stable, except for some teary eyes with those darn Hallmark Christmas movies that I'd normally roll my eyes at ;). I'm not craving anything specific, just depends on what I see, smell and think of, some things are harder to get out of my mind that others.

What I Feel
Nothing!

What We're Doing
Thinking of creative ways to tell family and close friends, and then putting it into action. I prefer to tell people in person, but sometimes that isn't working out. We are also getting antsy for our next midwife appointment and really wishing we could see Pumpkin again since last time we saw him or her, he or she was just a little lentil sized speck and all yolk sack. We will hopefully hear a heartbeat at our appt, but I don't think we'll see the little guy or girl again until January when we find out if it is a guy or girl!

We told our parents with a gift that was 'just something we got them in Italy' and that something was a baby bib. Both of our moms got the hint pretty quickly and were very excited and a little surprised. We also announced to some friends that are also expecting by getting their baby a book and writing a message inside that was from Baby C. That was fun :). I think for our Bible study small group I'll bake a cake with one pink and one blue layer and have someone else cut into it. We'll see if anyone catches on. That won't be until next week though (maybe, unless I chicken out).

Here is the only presentable picture from when we told my parents, I was shooting from the hip, so it isn't great and the others are really dark. I didn't get any other pictures from our other announcements.


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Next baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 12 & 13

Previous baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 8 & 9

Friday, November 16, 2012

Pumpkin: Weeks 8 & 9

November 3rd through November 16th

We were in Israel most of this time, and things got trickier with travel and pregnancy. The food is weirder, there is less walking and more sitting on a moving bus and so many strange smells.

How I Look
Part way through week eight, I could have swore that I was already showing and would have had myself convinced of twins (if I hadn't already seen the sonogram) because by the end of the day I was so darn bloated! Any weight that I lost in Italy has been replaced with air inside me. I ate a lot the first few days in Israel (until I got tired of the same thing each day), and I think that all the strange new foods weren't friendly to my GI tract. Now, by the end of week nine, I'm back to usual. I didn't gain any overall weight in comparison to my first morning weights from before we left. I still feel bigger after eating and at the end of the day, but not as much as those first days in Israel. My goal is to gain only one pound during the first trimester (they say you should gain 1-5 pounds, so I'm shooting for the one)!


How I Feel
I'm feeling just okay now. I'm feeling the effects of being on the go-go-go so much. I'm also not feeling my best in the mornings, especially in Israel. It was hot there, and we usually drained all of our water bottles by the end of the day, leaving no water in the room at night. I would drink water with dinner, and lots of it, but I still feel dehydrated in the morning and pretty lightheaded in general until around noon. Again, this isn't unusual for me, just more extreme than I usually experience. I've had some pretty bad headaches, one that made be break down and take some Tylenol and surprise, surprise, it actually did dull the pain a little. I definitely didn't experience typical, daily hormone nausea, but I'm definitely nauseated by certain smells and foods much more easily. However, it goes away as soon as the smell does.

The last three or so days in Israel were the worst, getting even worse during the flight home. At one point I ate something that didn't agree with me and got sick from it. I think it was some kind of seasoning or food additive. I noticed after getting sick from it the first time that I could smell it in things that were yellow. After that, my stomach was a little uneasy about all the food and I played it pretty safe. Which wasn't hard because I was pretty much sick of the food after day three, it was all the same in the way that dorm food is all the same. Also, horror of horrors, chocolate and chocolate desserts don't sound good to me (and most of their other desserts in general), however, chocolate ice cream bars - MONEY - specifically the Magnum Infinity bar which is chocolate ice cream, dark chocolate shell with cocoa nibs and a slight drizzle of either caramel of chocolate running through the inside. I know, it doesn't make any sense that a chocolate bar or dessert is unappealing, practically revolting, but yet chocolate ice cream covered in chocolate with more bits of chocolate is where it's at. Ahh hormones.

During the last day in Israel I felt generally nauseated all day and I was sure that this was it, I was going to suffer from 'morning' sickness from now on. I was still sure of this the following two days of travel when I just couldn't keep things down and felt a general feeling of awful (we're fairly sure it was some combination of too many strange foods and some bad food on the plane because both Blake and I were experiencing symptoms for a few days). However, once we got home and back in our own bed and kitchen, I'm back to normal and very seldom feeling nauseated (again, back to only when a smell gets to me) thankfully.

What I Feel
Actually, nothing aside from the above. Blake really wants to tell our families over Thanksgiving and I had finally agreed but now I'm realizing that I really don't feel pregnant and that makes me worry that what if we tell them at week 11, only to find out during our next midwife appointment that things have gone wrong. I think that it's not unusual to feel 'nothing' at this point. The cramping is pretty much at a minimum and I obviously wouldn't feel the baby move for a long time still.

What We're Doing
Still just hitting the treadmill for 30-40 minutes, sometimes running, sometimes walking, usually at an incline. Blake is great about keeping me motivated to get up and do it, and it helps that it gives me more energy and makes my GI symptoms better. We are reading about Pumpkin's development and praying that he or she is making their way through these stages successfully. Otherwise, we aren't doing much, just waiting for time to pass until we are ready to meet with the midwife again. We're also scheming about how and when to tell our family. I want to wait longer and Blake wants to tell everyone, like right now ;).

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Next baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 10 & 11

Previous baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 6 & 7

Friday, November 2, 2012

Pumpkin: Weeks 6 & 7

October 20th through November 2nd

I'm pleased to introduce to you, our little lentil-sized Pumpkin. Really, you can mostly just make out the yolk sac, but there he or she is, nonetheless! We didn't hear a heartbeat, but the doctors could see it flickering.

How I Look
Pretty much the same. I look normal in the morning and bloated in the evening. My pants are tight after eating and uncomfortable by the end of the day. I'm also still experiencing growth and tenderness with the girls. I had to start wearing my sports bra around because we do so much walking and it was killing me! Despite my increasing size up top, I think I lost some weight during week seven, from all the walking we did around Rome.

How I Feel
I'm still feeling pretty good overall. Week six was a haul with lots of obligations and preparations for our big trip which started Friday of that week. Flying was difficult, even with compression stockings I was still pretty swollen and had to get up and walk around a lot, and of course, visit the bathroom more often. I didn't experience any nausea these weeks.
The most noticeable change has been the extremes of what I typically feel. If I'm usually tired at around eleven, I'm exhausted at eleven (but not necessarily before). If I'm usually full after eating, I'm stuffed after eating the same amount of food. I'm also usually a little sleepy after eating but now I'm prying my eyelids open after a meal. If a smell is generally unpleasant to me, now it is the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled. If I see something that sounds good to eat, I usually want it but can talk myself in or out of eating it based on logic, now I just desperately crave it until I have it. Of course, I'm still experiencing the other symptoms of constant gas and bloating. It isn't pretty.. but it is what it is. Both of those symptoms are 50% better when I work out every day, at least for 30 minutes.

What I feel
I feel some pains now and then, especially when I over do it with walking and carrying a heavy backpack/camera around a foreign city. Specifically, lower back pain and what I think is called round ligament pain, sharp pains in the very low pelvic region. Other than those occasional pains, I could wake up and forget that I'm even pregnant.

What We're Doing
I met with my gynecologist on Thursday of week six, just before we left, so that we could hopefully get a sneak peak at Pumpkin - which we did :) (our midwife doesn't do ultrasounds until 20 weeks and we didn't want to wait that long). It was great to see little P and to have that confirmation that things are going well. Otherwise, I'm just plugging away at daily walking (not a problem on vacation) and taking those prenatal vitamins and fish oil. While traveling, Blake has been fantastic about helping me remember to take them. I'm glad that I have them too, because I'm not always able to find well balanced meals on vacation.

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Next baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 8 & 9

Previous baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 4 & 5

Friday, October 19, 2012

Pumpkin: Weeks 4 & 5

October 6th through October 19th

First, if you think I'm crazy for posting baby updates this early.. just remember: this is more for me than it is for you ;).

I don't think I'll bother with a picture yet.. there's nothing there besides my pre-pregnancy fat! Sometimes Blake will put his hand on my abdomen and say, "How's Pumpkin today?" I generally just give him a report about what Pumpkin is doing this week and how s/he's making me feel that day. I did have to point out, just once, that what he is putting his hand on isn't Pumpkin.. it's pumpkin pie, pumpkin scones, pumpkin cheesecake and pumpkin lattes... but not our Pumpkin, not yet!

How I Feel
I'm feeling pretty good, which isn't a surprise. 'Morning' sickness/nausea isn't expected until after week six. I have headaches most days, but that is usual for me. What is unusual is not taking something for them! I could take Tylenol, or so they say, but it doesn't really do much for me and I figure, why put anything through my body that I don't *need* at this point. I also have a lot of bloating and, eek,  gas. I think that it's my prenatal vitamins. I've been trying to work out like I was before Pumpkin, and it absolutely helps me to have plenty of energy and most importantly keeps my GI system in better harmony. I am a little more tired than usual but not remarkably tired. I have noticed some greater emotional swings, but nothing crazy. I'm definitely getting more familiar with the bathrooms at work and in the middle of the night, but I'm also drinking a lot of fluids.

What I feel
During our two week wait, I felt all kinds of things going on in my uterus, I thought it was July 4th in there. In week four I still felt a lot of cramping and tingles/pains but not as constant and pronounced as before. During week five, things have continued to mellow even more and now I just get occasional cramping (like once a day) and the occasional sharp pain (like once or twice a week). I'm really feeling changes and tenderness in 'the girls' and that is starting to get old.. but probably not going anywhere!

What We're Doing
We had our first midwife appointment on Thursday of week five. It was just a consultation to get to know her and decide if we want to use her for our prenatal care and delivery. She has also been to Israel and I was glad to be able to pick her brain about anything that I should be concerned about with traveling during early pregnancy. She said that the food should be mostly fine and that flying will be no problem, just the usual get up and walk around, drink lots of fluids etc. The only unknown factor is whether I'll get daily nausea and that I should know before I leave, in which case she has some safe remedies for that.

On a side note.. I kind of wonder if my mom is going to flip out when she realizes that I took her first unborn grandchild to more than one foreign country without her knowing about it. I'm pretty sure that in the end, she'll thank me and realize that she'd be even more stressed knowing that all three of us were over there instead of the moderate level of stressed out she is experiencing from what she thinks is the two of us being there.

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Next baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 6 & 7

Previous baby post: The Results Are In!

Saturday, October 6, 2012

The Results Are In

We are... wait for it... EXPECTING!! We are thrilled! Due date: June 15, 2013 (Six days before my 30th b-day!)

Thursday morning we'd had a *very* faint line, but it was so faint we weren't sure if our eyes were playing tricks on us, so we went off to work with a little smile and a prayer.

On a pleasant Friday afternoon I took another test, let it sit and we looked at it together. We got our first definite positive test (at 12 days past ovulation for those of you that follow that line of thinking)! We also took a digital test the next morning, just to confirm.



I was pretty sure we were pregnant. I could feel things working down there. From sharp pains to twinges and cramps this was no ordinary end of cycle. It seemed like more than I could be imagining. It was our first month of trying and I hoped it was our last. I really want to be due at the beginning of summer (to avoid being pregnant during the ridiculous heat of July and August) but I also wanted to finish out this school year (which is why we didn't start in August).

We went out to dinner to celebrate and talked about all the things we hope Pumpkin loves and does. The number one thing we hope Pumpkin does is stick around and keep growing. Miscarriage is not as uncommon as we'd wish it to be and although I fully trust in the Lord's plan for our family, I feel like I'm holding my breath a little and wondering if I'll regret planning out this little baby's pregnancy, delivery and first years ;). I'm trying not to get ahead of myself, but what can I say? I'm just a planner.

Every day (it seems) I come across another thing that I have to Google to see if I am supposed to eat/drink. For example, did you know you aren't supposed drink many herbal teas? We discovered this just after we conceived. I was drinking tea like crazy (I love tea anyway and usually have one to three cups of tea after my one cup of coffee in the morning) but since I was cutting out caffeine and it felt like something was missing, more tea helped fill the gap. I can't remember what made me Google it, but I soon found out that many herbs can cause early labor/miscarriage or implantation issues. I wonder how serious this needs to be taken, and will ask my midwife (who is also a naturopathic doctor - knows her herbs) at our first appointment. However, nothing is worth the risk at this point.

In the meantime, my sweet husband went to our favorite tea store and picked out three fantastic teas that are caffeine free and herb free. They are Rooibus or red teas and two of my favorite flavors: earl gray and ginger peach. He also picked out one called passion fruit mango, which mimics (but is more fruity than) my other favorite Mango Ceylon. All winners and completely satisfying. I'm so impressed, if I didn't know it I'd never guess they weren't their black leaf/caffeinated versions. Blake was my tea hero with his scouring of teas with ingredient lists that were baby safe.

Other than taking more vitamins, trying to eat extra healthy (and avoid all those 'no' foods), working out *almost* every day and feeling those funny uterus twinges.. life continues as we knew it, with just a little more anticipation. Now I'm going to continue planning our big trip to Italy/Israel and hope that I stave off morning sickness and exhaustion until we get back!

So, here begins our official journey to parenthood! Bring on the unsolicited (and solicited too) advice!

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Next baby post: Pumpkin: Weeks 4 & 5

Previous baby post: Waiting

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Waiting

We are currently in our two week waiting period (tww if you're into those acronyms). In under two weeks, we find out if all our praying, planning and, ahem, extra curricular activities, came to anything.

In the meantime, we are contemplating our life changes that may be coming. Thinking about how we might feel when we find out we're expecting, and, how we might feel if we find out we're not. We are dreaming up ways to announce the news to family and friends, and thinking about how we'll need to be careful to keep our growing baby healthy.. without giving it away too soon. We are discussing names to call the baby until we know the gender. Currently, we agree that Pumpkin is our favorite. Not that I want to think about giving birth to a pumpkin (think more along the lines of pumpkin seed), but it is also a term of endearment and a favorite flavor in our household. We're starting this process at the beginning of fall and the minute Blake suggested it we thought it was cute.

Obviously, we're really hoping that we're expecting. Hopefully we aren't getting our hopes up, but I think we know the odds and are ready to deal with whatever God does or doesn't bring us.

I'll leave you with the lyrics to one of my favorite songs lately:

While I'm Waiting by John Waller
(music video)

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

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Next baby post: The Results Are In!

Previous baby post: TTC

Friday, September 21, 2012

TTC


DH, OPK, LP, BBT, BD, BFP, CF, CD, DPO, EDD, EWCM, HPT, LH, and the list goes on (and on, and on... here's a reference for all of these acronyms if you're really curious! Just know, you've been warned).

Every group loves their acronyms and the fertility world is no different. We are currently TTC and the researcher in me can't help but Google every thought that comes to my mind. In my Google searches I've come across all of these acronyms in one or more of the hundreds of forums and websites dedicated to conception and pregnancy. Some are easy to guess, while others don't make sense until the fifth time you've seen them in context and still others require the above referenced website. I had no idea there were so many acronym worthy terms involved in having a baby. Nor did I realize the intense online community of fertility/pregnancy. Technology age indeed.

I'm just an information junkie. We have only just started trying to conceive and really, the research isn't necessary until you've tried for a few months without success. I've been reading for months now. I just like knowing everything I can about the topic, it helps with the waiting game. Researching gives me an avenue to spend my excitement and pass the time. I love feeling like I understand what comes next and how things should happen. I also already know which brand of cloth diapers we'll use and which soft carriers/slings/wraps I prefer. I just like to be prepared.

It's been so fun to learn about all the ins and outs of conception, due dates and ovulation. I've never really known all these intricate details about my monthly cycle. It's a wonder anyone gets pregnant! The natural process our body goes through is amazing. So far, it isn't stressful, just exciting... but ask me again in six months if we haven't conceived. I've also noticed that Blake has a different level of tolerance for information. Too much and he takes it all too seriously and it seems to stress him a bit, whereas I feel like I can take in what I like/agree with, and leave the rest behind to make an informed opinion..

As I mentioned in an earlier post, we decided in June to start trying this fall (2012) instead of next fall (2013). It has made this summer such a memorable one! With each new summer activity, Blake and I have taken a moment to savor it and smiled to ourselves that next year, we'll be doing it with an infant (if it all works out okay). We are doing things that we might not otherwise make time for, and we are totally enjoying each others company. It kind of feels like we are newlyweds again and can't stand to be apart from each other. It's just been such a sweet time together, expectantly awaiting the newest adventure we'll face together.

The closer we get to being pregnant, the more I realize that we have no idea how our lives will change or what is in store for us... we just know that we're ready to experience it together and to grow in the Lord through it. Whatever this adventure brings us.

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Next baby post: Waiting

Previous baby post: The Baby Plan - Remix

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Baby Plan - Remix

If you are reading this, that means that I've announced that we are expecting and I've posted all of my secret posts about this process (see a list of baby posts here).

We had a baby plan. We initiated the baby plan because we were ready to have kids, but really felt strongly about getting out of debt first. We also felt pretty strongly about starting our family when I turned 30, regardless of our financial situation. So the baby plan was developed around those two milestones.

The Original Baby Plan was this:
  Get out of by debt ~ May/June 2013
  Start trying to get pregnant: August 1, 2013
  Continue working until delivery-ish and save my income for a house ~ May/June 2014
  Turn 31, hopefully with a delivered, full-term baby in my arms by now: June 21, 2014

Then one day, near my 29th birthday. Actually, it was the weekend before my birthday and we were driving home to see our families for Father's Day. We were having a discussion about money and how close we are to getting out of debt and how we'll ever feel like we have enough money when I quit working to stay home with kids.

I just had this nagging feeling about putting off pregnancy for almost a year after we would be out of debt... just for money. Would extra money be super helpful when buying a house? Yes. Would extra money be helpful when starting a family? Yes. Would extra money be helpful in any situation? Yes. Would extra money ever really be enough extra money? No.

I just felt like we were selling out our potential kid for a few more months of income, for a few more months of security. However, this isn't new. I've always felt like this. We are ready to have a baby now. We also still feel really strongly about getting out of debt first. I can completely feel good about getting out of debt before having a little one. I just couldn't feel good about putting off that little one, just for extra money. I know it made great sense. I know it would be completely responsible. And those things eased my mind for most of this time.

So we were driving, and talking. Having the same conversation we've had a million times, re-convincing ourselves to stick to our plan and make the responsible decision. Yet, we just couldn't convince ourselves anymore.

I think that for Blake, it was just the fact that we both agree, how could we put off our child, for some extra money. It probably has to do with seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and getting much closer to being debt free that he can see us making it without the extra money.

For me though, there was more to it. I was turning 29, and I was feeling 39. I'd just finished a ten month streak of working two jobs and driving over 400 miles each week. I was exhausted and feeling like I wasn't getting any younger. On top of that, I'd just gotten some potentially bad medical news and was really feeling time slip away. I might have a autoimmune disorder that will mean progressive issues with 'joints, skin, kidneys, brain and other organs'. This is a story for another post. I don't have any more information that this: I might, I might not. It's too early to tell but I had some blood work indicators that mean I need to be rechecked again in a year. I truly won't know anything more until then, but I do know that I trust in the Lord and lean on His understanding.

Back to they baby plan. It all just made sense. I wasn't getting any younger, and might possibly have more and more issues as I got older. We were still going to get out of debt within the next school year. Millions of people have babies and make less money than we do. We trust that God meant what he said in Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? "Therefore do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?' or "What shall we drink?' or "What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." 

So we decided. Right then and there on Highway 84 between The Dalles and Hood River. We were going to have a new baby plan. It was my secret birthday present. We also agreed to pray and pray and pray for God's wisdom about this new plan.

There is more to this lengthy story. We've been very public about our baby plan. We did so, mostly to help ourselves count down to the event, and also to keep people off our backs from wondering when we were going to have kids. There was a drawback to the publicity of our baby plan though.. the public part. It wasn't something that we shared between the two of us, practically everyone knew our timeline, and friends and family like to joke around and ask for monthly countdown updates. It wouldn't be much of a surprise to announce our pregnancy and certainly would make it harder to keep it a secret until we were ready to announce it, since everyone would be expecting it. We realized too late that this major decision should have been kept a little more between us. It was fun to joke with everyone about how 'strict' our plan was and I think people got a kick out of the fact that we counted down so far ahead. In the end though, I'm so glad we revised the plan and have the privacy of it. We still follow our public baby plan when people ask for the current monthly countdown (which feels a little deceitful, but I'm justifying it). I can't wait to see the surprise when the 'intense planners' announce their pregnancy almost eight months before they were going to start trying!

The new and improved baby plan, aka: Baby Plan - Remix
  Change contraception methods: July, 2012
  Start tracking my cycle, including charting my daily basil body temps ~ July-September, 2012
  Start trying: September or October, 2012!
  Get out of Debt May/June: 2013
  Have a baby June 2013
  Turn 30 June 2013

{Warning. Possible over-sharing here.. as if I haven't already crossed that boundary} Ultimately, since my cycles turned out to be longer, thus making my expected due dates different than if I had a 28 day cycle, we could start trying to get pregnant in September and still *likely* (if all goes according to plan) have a baby after school gets out in June. If my cycles were shorter it would have caused my due date to be before school was out and that would be pushing it a little, since it's not like babies really come on their due dates.

So there you have it! I can not express to you how excited we are, and how ready we feel (you know, as ready as you can feel for an unknown life changing event). It has been so special and intimate to keep it between the two of us, and to know that we'll be able to keep our pregnancy (when it happens) between the two of us a little easier and longer, since people won't be expecting it.

After some time praying, this new baby plan just feels right.

: :
Next baby post: TTC

Friday, April 20, 2012

A Windy Afternoon

Thursdays are one of my favorite days.

First, my schedule is nice and I basically play with preschoolers all day - fun.
Second, Thursday is {almost} Friday.
Third, Thursdays is Bible study night, which I look forward to for the obvious reasons of fellowship and studying God's word.
Lastly, Thursdays are often the first night that I don't have to work after work, which gives me time to run errands, work late, or stop and take pictures at the park when the light is gorgeous. [segue].

Here are some pictures from this Thursday afternoon. I really love blossoms.

I like the creamy bokeh in some of these pictures but other than that I'm not actually that happy with them. It was really windy that day so in some pictures I put my scarf on the branch to show the movement of the wind. I like the colors and the contrasts but I'm really not sure how to edit these ones. I feel like they need something to liven them up and give them some character. I kind of feel that way with all of my pictures actually. They're okay.. but nothing special. It's time for me to get serious about post processing. Any suggestions?

Edited with Picasa, using Lomo-ish filter.
(I have no idea what that means)

Basic crop/contrast/lighting with Picasa

Basic crop/contrast/lighting with Picasa

Crop/contrast/lighting and saturation with Picasa

Basic crop/contrast/lighting with Picasa

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Date Night

Blake and I rarely have a traditional 'date night'. We like to make the little things in life special by doing them together when one of us could do them alone. Grocery shopping, for example, is kind of like a date for us. We really enjoy strolling through Costco discussing life. We don't get to spend a ton of time together - two weeknights (and one of those nights is Bible study night) and Saturdays are it really. We occasionally get up for the early service on Sundays, which makes some afternoon time together but I still have to hurry off to work eventually. So just the luxury of curling up on the couch and watching a tv episode is special to us. We like our little routines and just enjoy the moments we have together.

Tonight, however, we went all out ;).

We started in the afternoon with a movie (The Hunger Games movie because Blake just finished reading the book last night), then we went to dinner (Famous Dave's - A guilty pleasure. As much as I try to avoid chain restaurants... man I love their pulled pork!). Next Blake drove us out to a hillside that he'd scoped out before and determined that it would be a great spot to watch the sunset (and he sat there super patiently for an hour while I snapped pictures). After the sunset we went into our favorite local store called Sweet Treat and got some frozen yogurt to bring home and eat while watching an episode of a tv series we're Netflixing our way through (Criminal Minds).

Here are some sunset pictures :). Edited with Picasa, mostly just crop/color/contrast/lighting and some saturation and boost adjustments.

Rattlesnake 'Mountain' ... I think

The view behind us, gotta love the wind mills.






Sunday, April 8, 2012

Easter 2012

We landed in Portland, OR, got in the car with my younger brother and his girlfriend (a.k.a. the Jordans) who were kind enough to pick us up in our car and drove to Bainbridge Island, WA for Easter. It was a long day of travel, but I really can't complain when part of it was a flight home from a fantastic vacation.

It was a short visit, but a great one, nonetheless. It could only have been more complete if my brother Jared was there (instead, he was at our house because of work. Irony!) and maybe a dear cousin or three with my other aunt and uncle and their families. Still, it was great to see my parents, the Jordans and my aunt and uncle. Easter is fairly self explanatory.. but here are some pictures anyway. Also, I got to try my hand at some family pictures, which was fun.

The cooks in the kitchen

Easter Eggs! Which came in...

Easter 'baskets'! Basically, my mom rocks and even though we're
all grown adults.. she still made us Easter baskets!
(This was the fun inside the bag!
Isn't my mom great!?) :)

Sisters

Our hosts, Aunt Sandy and Uncle Rodney

My parents

I couldn't pick just one.

The Jordans


Us

The obligatory family dinner table picture :)
We took the ferry over to Seattle on the way home, and I had to take the opportunity to try out my wide angle lens. 






Saturday, April 7, 2012

Spring Break in Mexico

This was a fantastic vacation. One of those vacations that actually felt like a vacation. I returned home fully rested, rejuvenated and refreshed. It was also extra special for the following reasons.

01. Blake and I work a lot. Specifically, in March we worked an extra lot. We were so ready for some extended quality time together. We just love hanging out and that darn work is always getting in the way.

02. We were returning to the same place that we went on our honeymoon, two and a half years ago. I thought we might go back there for our 5th anniversary, but it just happened to work out for spring break this year.

It was so fun to relive our honeymoon a little and so incredible to see how much we've grown since we were there last. We both agree that our honeymoon was magically perfect. Yet, we also agree that our love has done nothing but grow since our magical time two and a half years ago. It is a total credit to God's faithful love and good work in us. Sitting in the same lounge chairs and taking long walks on the same beach really drove home how much greater marriage gets every day when God is at the center of it. We just walk through life a little closer now than we did before. We know each other better and we communicate better - usually with fewer words. Not surprising changes, just more obvious because we were in the same environment but a few years older.

03. Our good friends Jason and Whitney Saura were down in Cabo for spring break the same week we were. Whitney's grandma gave them use of her timeshare as a Christmas present and it happen to work out for us to be there at the same time (different resorts, but not too far).

And now, here are some pictures. Oooh the pictures. I took about 1000 (926 actually) and narrowed it down to about 150 keepers. I'll try to narrow it down even more here ;)

Dinner, our first night

Followed by a walk on the beach. I didn't realize I was doing
this with the lights.. but now I know how to do it on purpose!


These crabs were everywhere!



On a sunset cruise.

The whales really gave us a show!

Sunrise

Early morning fishing

After this picture, Captain Victor told me that I take too many pictures.
Psht. If he only knew.

Blake caught a Yellow Fin Tuna! Mmm!

Relaxing on our balcony




Blake could watch the waves crash all day :)


Whitney gave us a scare and got sucked out into the waves.
She ate some sand and saltwater before making it out okay.

Oops.. here comes a wave!

All safe and sound back on the dry sand.

Goodnight!