Tick Tock, Tick Tock

What's that sound? Oh, it's just my biological clock ticking.

I thought I'd give you a little update on the journey to motherhood. Not that you asked, and NOT that I'm pregnant (just to clarify again, I said, NOT PREGNANT) but more so to satisfy my need to obsess over it a little more.

I will say that booking a trip that is about eight months from now is helping to ebb the spontaneous urge of forgoing the plan. The trip gives me some motivation and reward for sticking to the plan, since it wouldn't be very fun to be either a) +/- 8 months pregnant on a transcontinental flight (I don't think that you're even supposed to fly by then?), b) pregnant and on vacation in a foreign country (okay I can think of worse things to be doing while pregnant.. but still it doesn't seem like a good idea), or c) cancel a trip with minimal refunds because you are pregnant/giving birth/popping any minute. I'll take option d) stick to the plan and don't get pregnant until August 2013 (or at least not until after November 2012).

I know this sounds so selfish, like oh we want to travel before having kids. And I know that traveling seems contraindicated with financial freedom. However, we really feel that through constant faithful prayer, it just isn't time yet. In addition, we've worked travel into the financial freedom plan and feel that it is worth it.

So here's the obsessive part.

Blake and I talk about baby names at least once a week. Last week he sent me a text of some new names in case we have more than one girl (yikes!) because he was just browsing some names at work (!?). We have a theme to our name picks, but it isn't the same first letter and that's all we're saying. Yes, we are those annoying people that won't reveal our baby name(s) until s/he is born. We will find out the sex, but aren't sure when or how and who we'll tell.

Every time either of us are around a baby - which happens at least once a week at Bible study - we come away with a sigh and a weak resolution to stick to the plan. Sometimes we like to play through the scenario of 'what if' we didn't stick to the plan. What if we just started trying this year, what if we both worked five days a week at our second jobs, what if we... oh, we'll be so much better off if we just stick to that plan.

Speaking of the plan, I can give you the plan timeline in days or months. I seem to review all the alternative dates and possible timelines outside of the plan at least weekly, in case the plan gets tossed out (unlikely.. but you know, just in case). The more I try to work in an earlier ending to the plan (i.e., start trying sooner than the plan dictates), the more I realize why we set the plan up how it is. *sigh* We should just stick to the plan.

We are resolved to stay the course, realizing that it is our plan and praying that if God has other plans.. He'll align our hearts with His and let us know. We may not actually stick to the original plan, but until we are prompted to do otherwise, it is The Plan.

It's interesting how the waiting faithfully is actually helping in many areas of life. Knowing that there is an end to overworking ourselves, helps bring joy to the work. There's a sense of purpose and appreciation for these last years/months of a full-time (paid) career and the chance to use my time wisely. I'm more purposeful in my relationships and take the opportunity to speak words of faith and love to people when I might not have before. I am more purposeful with my work. I take the time to learn from as many opportunities as I can, and have a new desire to go back and really understand some content areas or treatment approaches that I have previously been satisfied with only a rudimentary understanding of until now. I am more purposeful in my household duties. If I think I want to do this full time and add kids to it.. shouldn't I take a little more pride in my system of household management now (or rather shouldn't I develop a system now)?

I'm surprised by how God is using this time. I shouldn't be surprised at all, these days are just as precious as the days that we are looking forward to. I can see that God is using them to prepare us for something in the future, and to make these days count. It never ceases to amaze me what God can do when you set your heart on honoring His. What a great reminder of the blessings that come when you try to surrender your life over and trust Him to replace it.

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The next installment: The Baby Plan: Remix

Mmm... Nutella

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Nutella? It's chocolatey hazelnutty goodness.

My brother bought us some Valentine's day cookies, and I had to do a little rearranging to make the calories really worth it. 

I wish the bakeries here had Nutella Day like the pasticceria in Venice... well, I suppose my waistline is thankful that they don't. 

Mmm... Nutella. Happy Valentine's Day!

Update

About eight months ago, I made a list to try to organize my head. I've thought about that list a few times, but until today I've been to afraid of the failure to look back at it.

However, in the name of procrastination from mundane housework, I'm willing to face my fear of failure and see how I've fared on my list.


Goals/Projects (Not in any particular order, written June 17, 2011)

1. get up earlier (In-progress. Off and on I've accomplished this, mostly out of necessity for work)
2. go to bed earlier (Met. I've definitely gotten better about this, save the occasional late weekend night)
3. have longer quiet times everyday (In-progress. Still working on this, always working on this)
4. have more purposeful prayer times everyday (see above)
5. finish the three four five innumerable crochet projects I've started: bath mitts, sweaters, slippers, hats, socks etc. (Partially Met. Of those listed, I finished the bath mitts, several hats, and frogged the socks so I could knit them. Sweaters are still in progress, as are about two hats and a blanket)
6. finish the two knitting projects I've started: lace scarf, hat (MET and Exceeded! Started/finished a pair of socks and started another pair of socks and a couple of head wraps. I have almost no time for knitting/crocheting these days so it's a good thing I set this goal low).
7. start the millions of knitting and crochet projects I have queued. (In-Progress. I've started a few of them!)
8. make more time for reading (Met! YES! I've definitely done this!)
9. join a book club (Met and exceeded. Not only joined, but started a book club blog. It's been really fun. You can check it out here)
10. start using a weekly menu plan (Unmet. Near fail, I did this for three weeks but haven't managed to do it since)
11. grocery shop once a week (In-progress. We've been a little better about this in general. Also see above)
12. use up produce before it goes bad (Met. I have been better about this, specifically during the three weeks, but even after, we've been better about using up veggies, or not buying them)
13. make my own bread every week (Fail Not Met. HA! This lasted about 2 weeks several months ago. I still have hopes for this though!)
14. grind my own flour for said bread (Partially Met. I do grind my own flour for most things, even if I'm not making bread)
15. make as many things homemade as possible (In-Progress. I still try to do this, but only with certain things, since I'm not home very much)
16. maintain a sourdough starter for longer than one month (Partially Met, On hold.. I did maintain it for longer than a month, but just barely. When we went on vacation.. it died.)
17. take better pictures (In-progress. I've started to do this, at least within the limits of my current camera's manual settings and capacities. I've learned tons about light and shutter speed and aperture and ISO and still have tons to learn. Someday I'll get a DSLR and will really get to work on this goal)
18. stay on top of my garden (Discontinued. eh.. our garden didn't really give us much to stay on top of, but Blake was primarily in charge of keeping it watered, pruned, picked etc.)
19. go to the gym 3x/week (Unmet. Once a week max.)
20. be content with my job (Partially Met. Well, I have added a job and am content with it. I will be happy to be done with it when I can though. I am certainly more content with the job I wrote this about. It's really not meant to be a full time job, so doing it part time takes away undo pressure and makes it much more pleasant).
21. be a better friend (In-progress. Negotiable. I've made efforts though)
22. call my mom more (In-progress. I've made an effort to try to text/call her more and I feel like we keep in touch better, although still not as much as I think she'd like)
23. blog consistently (Variable progress. Weeeell, I've had my moments.. but lately this has not been the case.)
24. be an effective witness for Christ (In-progress. I have made concerted efforts to be more bold in this and to think about how my actions/words affect my witness.)
25. do all things without complaining or arguing (Fail In-progress. In some areas I've gotten better. On a day-to-day basis, minimal change.)
26. use my time wisely (In-progress. Having less time certainly makes me use what little time I have more wisely, more often.)
27. patiently endure until we are financially ready to _____ (insert long-term goal here). (Patiently... hmm. In-progress.)
28. plan the activities for our trip to Australia (Met)
29. listen to the every sermon/Bible study recorded from our pastor (Unmet. I've been absorbed by audio books and rekindled (no pun intended) my love for reading.)

Thankful

Here's the short list of the things I'm thankful for today:

• Every second of additional daylight we get each day.
• A gorgeous sunset on my way down to Pendleton.
• Spring-like weather in January.
• Realizing that I forgot my purse in Pendleton only ten minutes outside of town, instead of the hour and fifteen minutes it could have been.
• The Almond Roca stash I keep in my desk for nights such as this.
• My sweet husband greeting my huff and grump with a smile and a kiss.
• Much needed but unexpected overload help at work.
• Oregon State laws that make it illegal to pump my own gas.
• Seat warmers in my car.
• Brain candy books read to me from my Kindle while I drive (currently reading Catching Fire, book two of The Hunger Games Trillogy).